Swamp Thing
by LanieSullivan
Summary: Set slightly before and up to Christmas of season 3. What really did happen in the swamp between Lee and Amanda during "Utopia Now" and how will they move forward? AU
1. Resigned to her Fate

**AN:** This story has a bit of an AU timeline because it requires the events of OBD, OBD to have already happened by the time of FFFT and definitely AU content because it creates an alternate future for our heroes. Many thanks to Clagjanet, Itsjustshe and Tjsmklvr for helping with various portions of this story. Emjoy!

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 **December 12, 1985**

"Are you sure I can't do anything to help?" Joe King inquired as he wandered into the kitchen to refill his coffee cup while Amanda and Dotty were washing dishes.

"No, Joe," Amanda insisted for the fourth time since she and her mother had begun the after-dinner clean-up. "You're here as a guest." She gave a nod to the den where the boys were doing their homework. "Besides, I really don't want to take away from your time with the boys. You get to spend so little time with them as it is."

"Oh, I'm sure they're sick of their old man by now when I've been making a nuisance of myself hanging around here all the time since I got back."

"Nonsense!" Amanda scoffed. "They love having your around."

"And you? I'm not annoying you?" he questioned with an arched eyebrow. He'd sensed something was going on with her since he'd arrived earlier in the evening because she wasn't her usual bubbly self. "You're not mad at me for being around too much?"

"No, not at all," she assured him as she paused in her task to look him in the eye. "I...um...I've just got some stuff going on that has absolutely nothing to do with you."

"Is there a chance that you'd tell me what that is? I'm a good listener, you know," he gently probed.

"I-"

"Amanda, you know you really do need someone to talk to about...things," Dotty interjected.

"Yes, Mother, but I need to talk to the right person and you and I both know that my ex-husband is not that person," Amanda argued.

"Still standing right here," Joe input impatiently.

"I know you are and I appreciate the thought, but really, I'm okay. I just need to work this...er...problem out on my own and you should spend as much time with the boys as you can because you just never know when EAO is going to call you up on another mission." She shot him a pointed look as she flattened her hand and moved it in a diagonal motion upwards from her hip to indicate a plane taking off and added, "And then - Whoosh - you're off again to who knows where-" she completed the motion with a sharp clap of her hands – "and bam! the boys may not see you again for a year."

"Ouch!" he replied with a slight shudder. "Point taken. You know, for someone who says she's not mad, you're certainly giving a good imitation of it."

She let out a sigh and hung her head. "Joe, I'm sorry. I'm really not mad at you at all. I-" She mentally kicked herself for taking her frustrations with Lee out on Joe as she reflected back on her use of the word 'mission' in her admonishment to Joe. She was long over Joe's gallivanting all over the world. This time it was another man in her life who'd taken off with no notice and unlike Joe, who'd always at least informed her of where he was going, Lee had not. He was just...gone.

"You've got stuff going on," he acknowledged. "Stuff you don't want to talk about...at least not with me. Got it."

"I really am sorry," she apologized again.

"We're okay, but you're right. I should spend as much time with the boys as I can before I end up having to leave again." He strolled back to the den and joined the boys with a chipper, "So, what are we working on? Anything I can do to help?"

"Amanda..." Dotty hissed in a warning tone once Joe was out of earshot just as the doorbell rang. "Saved by the bell," she muttered.

"I wonder who that could be," Amanda mused in a more cheerful tone than she felt.

"Won't know until we answer it, will we?" Dotty replied as she slung her dishtowel over her shoulder and gave her a knowing look. "Though since you just quit your job rather abruptly, I've got three guesses who it might be." Before her daughter could reply, she hurried to the door.

 _Great,_ Amanda thought morosely. That was the last thing she needed. She'd turned in her resignation to Billy with the sole intent of not having to face Lee again after five unanswered phone calls and learning from their boss that he'd gone on assignment without her. She let out a deep sigh and tightly gripped the edge of the sink for support just as she heard her former partner gruffly saying to her mother, "I'm Lee Stetson. I work...er...worked with Amanda and I need to see her and don't tell me she's not home because her car's in the driveway."

She didn't hear her mother respond and a moment later, it was clear why when he appeared at her side, shaking the letter she'd written in his fist with a surly, "Do you care to explain this to me?"

She turned to face him, pasted on her best smile and replied sweetly, "I think it says it all in the letter I wrote to Mr. Melrose. Now, if you don't mind, I have things to do."

"I'm sorry, Amanda. He just pushed right past me," Dotty said with a look that told Amanda all too well that she wasn't sorry at all. "You know, I just think I'll go check on the boys so you two can talk." Seeing that Lee's attention was solely on her daughter and not paying a bit of attention to her, she mouthed to the younger woman, "Tell him," before turning on her heel and walking away.

"Well?" Lee demanded, holding up the letter.

"If you'd read my letter, you'd know," she responded coolly and turned back to her dishes.

He slammed the letter onto the counter beside her. "I _have_ read it." He jabbed it with his finger repeatedly. "Every...damn...word."

"Then I don't see what it is you need explained to you," she shrugged as if trying to appear aloof.

"You babbling on and on about a family situation may get you off the hook with Billy, but it won't with me. After all we've been through, you owe me a _real_ explanation. We're partners."

" _Were_ partners," she corrected as she finally turned to look at him again. "Not anymore. If you'd really read every word of my letter, you know that I no longer wish to be your partner."

"Why?" He glanced toward the den where Dotty had joined Joe and the boys. He nodded toward Joe. "Or should I even ask? It's _him_ , isn't it? Now, that he's back in your life, you don't want me around anymore. Is that why you left five cryptic messages on my machine and why you tendered your resignation?"

Amanda reached for the roll of paper towels on the wall to dry her hands and began gripping them tightly as she paced in front of the sink. "You wanna' know the reason I left all those cryptic messages on your machine? I'll tell you why." She paused in her pacing as she stood toe to toe with him. "Because I had something I needed to talk to you about in person and you weren't home for me to do that. Then I hear from Mr. Melrose that you suddenly had to leave for some work thing and usually you have me tag along with you or at the very least, tell me you're going to be gone, but noooo...not this time, not when I had something really important - life-changing important - to talk to you about. This time, you couldn't be bothered."

"Amanda..." He reached for her hands, but was startled when she snatched them away from him. He frowned in confusion. "You know you can always talk to me about anything, right?"

"Really?" she replied disbelievingly. "How am I supposed to do that when you're not around to talk to?" She hated how shrill her voice sounded now, but she couldn't help it, not when she'd been agonizing over this for two days. She blew out a long breath and in a lower tone, went on, "And no, my leaving the Agency had nothing to do with Joe and for the record, he's _not_ back in my life." It hadn't occurred to her until now that Lee would even think that after all they'd been through together.

"Oh, come on, Amanda. I was there in the gym and I saw how cozy the four of you looked..." He again nodded to the den.

"Well, yes, but that's because Joe and I share children. He's always going to be a part of my life because of that, but that doesn't mean he's in _that_ part of my life. I would've thought you could figure that out after what happened in the swamp."

"So, what is it? You're regretting what happened between us now?" he demanded, his voice rising again.

"Shhh." she hissed. "Lower your voice. My family's right in the next room." She shook her head. "Maybe we should take this outside like we normally do," she suggested.

"It's freezing outside, Amanda, and even if it weren't I'm tired of you hiding me outside away from your family. Why shouldn't they know there's something between us?"

"Is there?" she questioned louder than she intended, drawing the attention of the occupants of the den.

"Is everything okay in here?" Joe inquired as he stepped into the doorway between the two rooms.

Lee started to open his mouth, but Amanda gave him a warning look. "Fine, Sweetheart." She replied to Joe and shooed him toward the den before turning her attention back to Lee. "But I think you're right. We do need to talk in private."

"Upstairs, maybe?" Lee suggested. "Your bedroom?"

Amanda let out a shiver at the thought of being alone with him in her bedroom. "Under the circumstances, I think that's a really bad idea, but we can go sit in the dining room and close the doors so we won't be overheard. You go on in there. I just want to check on the boys first."

"Fine." Lee nodded and followed her instructions.

Amanda made her way into the den and with a bright smile and asked, "How's the homework coming?"

"Fine," Phillip answered while Jamie shrugged and inquired, "That's the man you work with, right?"

"I already told you that," Joe reminded his son.

"Yes, but you didn't say how _you_ knew him," Dotty interjected with a curious eyebrow aimed at her former son-in-law and then glanced at her daughter for an answer.

"Yes, I did," Joe jumped in quickly. He knew his ex-mother-in-law well enough to know she was trying to catch him in a lie. "I just told you I met him when I first came back a few weeks ago. Amanda introduced us when she had her government friends help me with the trouble I was in."

"Funny." She shot her daughter a withering look. "All this time she's worked there and this is the first time I've ever seen him."

"Yeah," Phillip added. "Why haven't we met your boyfriend yet?"

"He's...um...he's not exactly my boyfriend...I mean, he's my friend and he's a boy...er...man and we've..." _Might as well bite the bullet_ , she told herself. The truth was going to have to come out now that Lee had invited himself into her house. "Well, we've sort of been seeing each other, but-"

"I'd say you've been more than just seeing each other," Dotty cut in. "I mean, with the circumstances being what they are."

"Mother!" Amanda scolded in a warning tone. She quickly changed the subject, "I really need to go talk to him, so-"

"Yes, you do," her mother interrupted again.

"Why do I get the feeling there's something going on that I don't know?" Joe questioned with a raised eyebrow in Amanda's direction.

"Listen, I need to talk to Lee first, then I promise that once he and I figure things out, I'll tell all of you what's going on, okay?" Without waiting for a response, she hurried back through the kitchen and into the dining room, closing the door behind her.

"Everything okay?" Lee asked in concern.

"Yeah...well, with them it is. With you and me...I...uh...I'm not so sure."

"That remains to be seen." He raked a hand through his hair and flung himself into one of the dining chairs with a frustrated sigh. "How about you start by answering the last question I asked you? Do you regret what happened between us in that night the swamp?"

"Do you?"

"I asked you first."

"That is so childish," Amanda pouted.

He stubbornly folded his arms across his chest. "I'm waiting for an answer, Amanda."

"You're not on the job and I'm not a subject of interrogation," Amanda argued.

"Keep avoiding it all you want. I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. I'll camp out here in your dining room all night if I have to. Since you brought up the subject of that night when we were running for our lives through the swamp, I can only assume you leaving work without telling me has something to do with that."

"Well, what about you taking off without telling me?" she turned the tables on him.

"Oh, no, this is not about me. I didn't quit without telling my partner."

"If you really thought of me as your partner, why wouldn't you tell me you were going on an overnighter?"

"Because I didn't have time!" he snapped as he rose from his perch. "I didn't even have time to pack a bag. I had to use the emergency bag I keep in my car, BUT as soon as I got back I went to see Billy to get permission for you to go on another trip with me to investigate further, but to my surprise, you weren't there!"

"Well, I wasn't there because of what happened in the swamp!" She shouted back.

His face fell, his mouth dropping open. She couldn't have hurt him worse if she'd struck him. "So you _do_ regret it?"

"Don't you?" she questioned.

He shook his head. "Not one damn second of it, but apparently you do."

"I never said that," she contended.

"Then what _are_ you saying? Please, tell me Amanda. I'm usually pretty good a deciphering Amanda-babble, but you haven't made one bit of damn sense since you started leaving those messages on my machine."

She took his hands in hers and in a calmer tone, suggested, "Let's just sit down and talk. I'll explain everything, okay?"

He squeezed her hands and nodded. "Yeah."

They sat down at the table facing one another and she began, "That night in the swamp when we...when we..." She hedged, unsure of how to refer to it without scaring him off now that he was here. Deciding to just call it how she saw it, she plunged on, "When we made love, it was...well, it was very special to me. I know it wasn't the ideal time or place, but when I thought we were going to die, I-" She paused again as she tried to compose her thoughts. "I...um...I've wanted that with you for so long and I thought we were really going to die and I didn't want to die without ever-" She broke off as tears began to sting her eyes.

"I understand," he replied gently as he reached to lightly caress her face. "I felt the same way."

"Then why did you treat it as if it was no big deal after the fact."

"What?" He gaped at her. "I didn't."

"Oh, yes, you did. You said very plainly that it was just about two people seeking a little warmth and that really...it really hurt." She gave into the tears, letting them slide down her cheeks.

"Ohhhh..." He nodded in acknowledgement. "Okay, you're right. I did say that and I get why you would think that it didn't mean anything to me because of that, especially with my reputation." He reached for her hands again and held them tightly in hers. "But that's not what I meant. I never meant to imply that it didn't mean anything to me. It did. It meant the world to me, but I...uh...I wasn't sure how you felt about it and I thought..." He pulled one hand from hers and scratched his head as he tried to find the right words to explain. "Since we'd only recently started seeing each other outside of work, I thought that it might be too soon...for you, I mean and I was trying to give you a graceful way out if you wanted it without having to make a big deal out of it."

"Oh," she replied simply. "Well, it is a big deal...a much bigger deal than you know."

"I don't understand. We both just admitted that it meant something to us, how much bigger could it be? There's something else I don't get. If what I said after the fact was such a huge thing to you, why did you keep working with me then? We've worked on a lot of cases, not to mention, been on several dates since then. If you never wanted to see me again, then why now? Just because I left without telling you? If that's the case, I'll make sure in the future that if I don't have time to call you right away, that Billy does so you know what's up?"

"It's not that...or not _just_ that. It's that I really, really needed to see you, to talk to you and you weren't there. It's a huge deal because that night between us changed everything and when I tried for two days to get you and couldn't, I just kept reliving my marriage to Joe in my head because he was never there when I really needed him. I know it's unfair to compare you to Joe because you're very different men, but in this case, I couldn't help it. I can't relive what I did with him, so I thought if that's how it's going to be, it would be best for me to just go it alone from the start and that's why I wrote that letter."

"Okay, you're still not making complete sense. I understand that you don't want to take the chance of me not being there for you, but if that's how you feel, as much as I hate to say it, maybe we're better off not pursuing this thing between us. I can't always guarantee that something won't come up like this again. It's the nature of the job. Bad guys don't take days off and you know that. I thought you understood that."

"I do understand that, but it's different now. I can't have you just taking off on me and not at least know where you are or how to get in touch with you anymore. That night made it different."

"Just because we slept together? I'm really confused now. If it's something neither of us regrets and we're both willing to move forward, why is it so different and why wasn't it different a week ago...or a month ago right after it happened?"

"Because..." She paused, took a deep breath and finally spit out, "I'm pregnant."


	2. Chain Reaction

There was an eerie silence in the dining room after Amanda dropped her bombshell. Lee tore his eyes away from her and looked down at the floor, unable to form words at the moment. Was he really going to be a father? He was having trouble believing it at the moment. He could practically hear his uncle's scathing voice in his head already lecturing him about his lack of responsibility. He took a deep breath to shake off that nagging thought as he reflected on the night that had led to this.

Amanda stared at Lee, not quite sure what to make of his silence or the fact that he was no longer looking at her. She knew that he often needed time to process things, but this was too much. She opened her mouth to say something more, but then clamped it shut and shook her head. What else could she say? She'd just told him she was carrying his child. The ball was in his court now. She closed her eyes as she thought back to that night in the swamp.

 **November 2. 1985**

 _They both groaned as the chain was tugged in opposite directions yanking on both of their arms._

 _"Amanda," he grumbled and when she shushed him, he hissed through gritted teeth, "I like to sleep on my right."_

 _"Yeah, well, I like to sleep on my_ _ **left**_ _side."_

 _Lee let out a low groan of frustration as he tried to figure out a solution because there was no way either of them was going to be able to sleep this way. He couldn't help thinking that in any other situation, it would work out perfectly that they liked to sleep on opposite sides. When that thought struck him he reached for his companion to flip her over to the other side of him._

 _"Hey," she protested and struggled against him a bit in her surprise. When he stopped at feeling her resisting, she questioned, "What are you doing?"_ _She glanced around warily wondering if it were an evasive maneuver and if their pursuers had spotted them. When she realized there was no one else around, she breathed a sigh of relief that they seemed to be safe and looked back at him._ _Her breath hitched as she did so and she couldn't help the shiver that ran up her spine once_ _it hit her_ _that she was lying atop him, the memory of how close they'd been to kissing began replaying in her head._

 _Lee gazed into her eyes as his thoughts flitted back to their near-kiss just moments ago and how Amanda had very obviously had something more to say to him, but had hesitated. He knew that feeling all too well. He had so much he wanted to say to her, but it seemed that every time he was ready, something or someone interrupted them. Her words 'if we don't make it...' kept echoing through his mind. He'd had the same thought when he'd nearly kissed her._ Screw it, _he thought as he ran a hand through her hair and pulled her head down and captured her lips in a firm kiss._

 _"Mmm," Amand sighed at the insistent pressure of his lips on hers as she raised her free hand to caress his face. Testing the water, she lightly teased his lips with her tongue._

 _Lee took advantage of the opportunity she was offering him and probed her mouth with his tongue, delighted by the moan of pleasure that came from her in response. He tightened his other arm around her waist as they began to tentatively explore one another._

 _When they both became too breathless to continue, they broke apart and just stared at one another for a long moment. "Is that what you were doing?" she joked to ease the tension between them._

 _He laughed lightly and answered honestly, "No. That's not what I intended, but I'm not complaining."_

 _"Mmm...no complaints here either," she replied as she lightly brushed her thumb across his lips. "So, if you didn't intend to kiss me like that, what were you doing?"_

 _"Oh, I was just thinking about what you said; how you like to sleep on your left side and since I like to sleep on my right, I thought we'd have less trouble getting comfortable if we switched sides. When I grabbed you like I did, it was to flip you over to my other side."_

 _"Without letting me know what you were doing? How very caveman of you," she teased._

 _"You haven't seen caveman yet," he growled as he captured her lips again in a fiery kiss, this time with no hesitation on either part as their mouths clashed and tongues dueled._

 _Amanda let out a little "Oh," of surprise when she felt Lee's hands drifting to her bottom. She lifted her head from his, searching his eyes for any indication that they were on the same page._

 _"What?" he asked in a startled tone and quickly removed his hands from her butt. "Too much?"_

 _She shook her head slowly. "Not enough,' she answered in a husky voice as she lowered her head to nip at his neck. She whispered in his ear, "You promised me some caveman, didn't you?"_

 _Lee let out a sigh as her teeth grazed his earlobe. "Me Tarzan, you Jane," his voice rumbled in her ear as he grasped her rear in earnest._

 _She let out a little giggle at his words, but it was choked off a bit by a moan when she felt the evidence of his arousal pressing against her. She tugged at his shirt in an attempt to pull it from his pants, but found herself hampered by the chain between them. She let out a groan of frustration and paused in her efforts._

 _He moved his hands up to cup her face. "Amanda, I-" he hesitated. He wanted to tell her how he felt about her; that he didn't want this to be just another notch on his bedpost and that he genuinely cared for her, but he couldn't quite get the words out._

 _"You what?" She had a feeling she knew what was on his mind because she'd nearly said the words aloud herself earlier, but had chickened out._

 _"I-I...uh...I just want to make sure this is what you really want."_

 _She nodded. "I've never wanted anything...or anyone more," she confirmed as she tried to work on his shirt again._

 _"Let me," he suggested as he rolled her to her left side as he'd intended to do in the first place and yanked his shirt from his pants and then reached for her again to do the same with her flannel. They resumed their earlier position, their mouths meeting again as he ran his hands up under her shirt to caress the bare skin of her back while she did the same to him. their kiss was broken when he let out a hiss as he felt the cold metal of the chain's cuff against his stomach._

 _"Sorry," she apologized sheepishly as she sat up astride him._

 _"Don't be. It can't be helped," he said to put her at ease as he flicked open the button of her jeans, then moved to the zipper._

 _"Lee!" she gasped when his fingers slipped inside her panties to touch her intimately "Oh, yes."_

 _He watched in delight as her facial expression reflected her pleasure at his touch, her soft sighs spurring him on. With his chained hand, he tried to push her jeans down further to give him better access to her core, but struggled due to their position._

 _Amanda let out a whimper of protest when he stopped what he was doing, but then quickly realized what the problem was. "I'll do it," she offered. "You're not going to get very far anyway with my boots in the way." She shifted to untie her boots and shove them off her feet one at a time._

 _"So much for your caveman theory," he jested._

 _She laughed as they both worked to help her wriggle out of her jeans_ _and underwear_ _. "Better?"_

 _"Mm-hmm," he sighed as he returned to what he'd started_ _before he'd been stopped by the constriction of her tight jeans and the chains that bound them together._

 _"Ohhh," she moaned as his skilled fingers stroked her and then let out a loud gasp when he slipped one finger inside her. "Need...more..." she panted as she worked to free his erection from its denim prison. Once she'd opened his jeans, she reached inside his boxers._

 _"Amanda..." he breathed when her hand wrapped around his swollen member. "God," he hissed as she began to stroke him, his heart racing, his breath coming in short, sharp pants._

 _"Need...you...inside.." One hand still holding his shaft, she shifted once more to position herself properly to complete what they'd started._

 _He moved his unchained hand to her hip as s_ _he guided him into her and sank down atop him, both groaning as she took him in all the way. "Yes!" she cried out. While she'd fantasized about really being with him many times, she'd never imagined it would feel like this; that he would fill her so completely._

 _"Shhh..." he hissed. "They might still be out there."_

 _She nodded and sighed as she moved against him to drive him deeper, biting down on her lower lip to keep her response to him as quiet as she could so as not to alert the enemy._

 _Off her reaction, he gripped her hips tightly and pushed his own upward as she began to rock against him with more force. He'd often imagined what their first time together would be like and thought it would be a slow seduction because he wanted her to know how special she was to him, but this was nothing of the sort as she bucked wildly against him, increasing the pace. He couldn't help his desire to meet her movement for movement, but he knew he couldn't last at this pace and he wanted to take her with him. He moved one hand back to her center to caress the swollen nub between her legs as she rode him hard, both of them gasping until he felt her inner muscles clenching around him with her release just before he tumbled over the edge himself._

 _"Wow," Amanda sighed as she stilled her movements. She looked down at him and smiled. She felt a little thrill course through her when she saw a similar smile on his face._

 _"Yeah," he agreed. He shot her a teasing grin. "Not still cold, I hope?"_

 _"No, not at all." She shook her head._

 _"Well, you might be if we don't get you dressed again," he pointed out._

 _"Right. Wouldn't want to get cold again." She nodded in acknowledgement, but grimaced slightly at the idea of separating so soon. She did have to admit that he was right though. She slid off him and reached for her jeans to pull them back on. After a few minutes struggle with the chain and a little help from Lee, she managed to complete the task, followed by shoving her feet back into her boots while he straightened and closed up his pants._

 _"But you know..." he hesitated slightly when he saw the frown on her face. "That doesn't mean we can't still try to keep each other warm...you know, share body heat."_

 _"Oh, I think we just covered that pretty well, Tarzan," she replied flippantly as she finished tying the laces on her boots._

 _"That we did, but still, we do have to get some sleep too. That was the whole point of me trying to move you to this side of me."_

 _"Yeah, it was, wasn't it?" She gave him a half smile as she moved to lie down beside him and he wrapped his arm around her as he had earlier just before she'd nearly confessed that she was in love with him. She settled into his embrace, her head on his shoulder and he planted a kiss to the top of her head. No more words were spoken between them as they drifted off to sleep together, both wondering what their future would hold now that they'd taken this step._

 **November 3, 1985**

 _'You sure know how to give a girl a good time'...those words of Amanda's kept reverberating through Lee's mind as they walked out of the bullpen together. What the hell did she mean by that? Was she just being flip about their adventure in the swamp or was it about them having sex? Was she already regretting it?_ **Or**... _an inner voice taunted him,_ was she suggesting that you weren't up to her standards sexually? _By her response to him, he was pretty sure he'd satisfied her, but maybe he hadn't. Maybe she'd been faking it. He cringed when he heard her begin, "About last night..."_

 _He quickly jumped in with talking about two people seeking a little warmth to spare her the embarrassment of admitting that she'd made a mistake. After all, they'd both thought they might not make it out and had acted solely in the heat of the moment. Besides, if she'd been left unsatisfied with it, he really didn't want to know that._

 _"Not exactly," she replied and hurried away, hoping to escape before he could see the disappointment etched on her face. She'd been about to suggest that they make a real plan for another go-round when they could really take the time to enjoy it, but since he was already trying to give her the brush-off, she wasn't about to humiliate herself._

Back in the present, Amanda was the first to break their stalemate. "Lee, say something...please."

Snapped out of his reminiscence by her pleading tone, he looked back at her wide-eyed and blurted out without thinking, "We'll have to get married."


	3. No Ball and Chain

"No!" Amanda cried as she gaped at him in shock at the panic she saw evident in his eyes. "Absolutely not!"

"What?" The surprise showing on his face now rivaled hers. "Why not?"

"Why not?" She abruptly rose to her feet and glowered down at him, deeply wounded that his first thought was that they _had_ to get married and that he hadn't shown any real response regarding the fact that she was carrying his child. She'd known for awhile about his loner tendencies and how he was prone to distancing himself from intensely emotional situations, but this was ridiculous. Did he even care that he was going to be a father? Furthermore, did he even want this baby? She wanted to ask, but was afraid of what answer she might receive with the way he looked so fearful. "Why not? I'll tell you why not! Because that's not how you handle a situation like this; just blurting out something like that! I tell you that you're going to be a father and that's your first response? You just go all Tarzan on me and tell me we _have_ to get married?"

He stood to meet her and responded hotly, "I don't seem to recall you complaining about me going all Tarzan on you that night in the swamp. In fact, it was just the opposite. It seemed like it got you pretty damn hot then."

"Okay, yes," she admitted. "When we were out there with the adrenaline pumping and thinking we were going to die, it was incredibly sexy, but not now, not when this is a serious situation. I really think we need to sit down and discuss this like rational adults, not teenagers hopped up on hormonal lust."

"What's to discuss?" he demanded. "When you get pregnant, you get married. That's how things are supposed to work, isn't it? That's the responsible thing to do and I'm damn sure not going to shirk my duty to you or our kid!"

"Your duty?" Was that how he really thought of their unborn baby? "Are you sure this is you talking and not your uncle?"

"Now that's not fair, Amanda. I'm trying to do the right thing here. Why are you being so damned stubborn about this? I'm beginning to think what Joe said about you in your divorce paperwork was right on the money."

"Oh, you wanna' talk about that? Fine, let's talk about that," she retorted. "What happened with Joe is precisely why I'm not going to marry you just because you think it's the right thing to do since you got me pregnant. I've been down that road once already and it didn't work then. What makes you think it'll be any different now?"

"What?" He blinked in surprise.

"Oh, come on, Lee. You must have read all that stuff about Joe and me a dozen times when you were pumping me for information about my divorce. Didn't you ever do the math? I married Joe in August of '72."

"And Phillip was born the following March," Lee completed her thought, her meaning becoming clear to him. He let out a sigh and in a calmer tone, questioned, "Well, so what? I'm not Joe. I'm not just going to take off on you like he did."

"But you could," she pointed out. "These last two days when I was frantically trying to get in contact with you only prove that. That's just the nature of this job and you know it."

"It wouldn't have to be that way if we got married," he explained. "Single agents are always the first to be given out-of-town assignments."

"Well, that's still not a good enough reason to get married."

"How about the fact that you're carrying my child, huh? Why isn't that alone not a good enough reason?"

"Because I can't go through that again, not knowing if you really want to marry me for me or if you did it because you felt obligated to."

Their argument was interrupted by Joe entering the room. He looked from one to the other and couldn't help noticing the tension between them. "I...uh...I'm sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know I was taking off," he explained.

"Imagine that," Lee snorted, causing Joe to cast an affronted look in his direction, wondering just what was going on between the two. He'd figured out already that Amanda had some intense feelings for the other man, but what he couldn't figure out was what Lee's problem with him was.

Amanda glared at Lee and then turned her attention to her ex-husband. "Thanks for being here for the boys tonight. They've really enjoyed having you around lately."

"Well, I'll probably be around a lot more with the EAO lacking leadership right now." He gave a slight nod to Lee. "You two may have helped me out of my legal trouble, but there's still a big mess to clean up at the office. The more I pore through Foster's files, the more I see how far his embezzlement scheme went and not just in Estoccia. It's probably going to take months to sort out, if not years."

"You know that you're welcome to come visit the boys anytime," Amanda informed him. "And we should talk about setting up a regular visitation schedule for you so they aren't thrown out of their normal routine too much, but for now..." She gave a slight nod in Lee's direction.

"I can see that you've got other stuff to deal with right now," he acknowledged.

"Yeah, and I promise I'll tell you all about it another time, but I-"

"I understand." He nodded. "I'll give you a call some time to talk about the boys."

"Good. Thank you." She gave him a quick kiss and said, "Goodnight."

Once Joe was gone, Lee sank back down into his chair and inquired, "So, how are you going to handle that?"

"Handle what?" she asked in confusion as she resumed her seat facing him. "You mean Joe? I already told you, there's nothing there to handle."

"No, I don't mean that. I mean your kids. What the hell are you going to tell them when you're pregnant and unmarried? I've always thought of you as this incredible superwoman kind of mom, but what kind of example are you setting for them if you don't want to make it right by getting married?"

"Excuse me?" she nearly screeched, her anger flaring again. "The kind of example I'm setting for them is not to make a rash decision in the heat of the moment. Besides, what makes you so sure that you and I getting married is the only way to make it right? We have a lot of options that don't involve us committing to a life together before we're ready. I wasn't really planning on telling them anything until I figured out what to do."

"Options?" he questioned. He wanted to know exactly what option she was thinking of, but wasn't quite brave enough to ask. Surely, if she'd taken the time to tell him about it, she wouldn't be thinking of ending her pregnancy. _But you pushed her into telling you,_ a taunting voice inside his head reminded him. _And she did turn in her resignation. Maybe that was why._

"Yes, options. Whatever we decide to do, it shouldn't be just about you thinking you need to fulfill some obligation to me. Do you remember when we were on that honeymoon cruise and you told me that you knew how I felt about marriage?"

"Yeah, sure. What about it?"

"I remember you using that as an excuse to cover your tracks when you didn't tell me right away what our cover was, but the thing is, I still believed that you meant that. Now I'm not so sure that you really do understand how I feel about marriage. I believe that marriage is supposed to be forever and my first one wasn't and I think a big part of that is that Joe and I got married before we were really ready because Phillip came along and surprised us. I can't make that mistake again. If I ever get married again, I have to know that it _is_ going to be forever this time."

Lee rolled his eyes. "There you go comparing me to Joe again," he snapped in irritation.

"I'm not, I swear, but I can't help seeing similarities here. You didn't suggest getting married because you want to spend the rest of your life with me. You did it out of some misguided sense of honor or duty or whatever you want to call it, but I can't agree under those circumstances...not again."

"So what great suggestion do you have to fix this?"

She shrugged. "I don't see it as something that needs to be fixed because it's not broken. It's just a...I don't know...a surprise. But one thing I do need to fix is that letter. I admit that I was so worried and so angry that I wrote it without really thinking things through. I mean, I do need to work. I need the money, especially with having upcoming medical expenses to deal with over this pregnancy."

"You don't think I'd leave you high and dry on that front, do you, even if you won't marry me? Just say the word, tell me what you need and I'll give you whatever money you need for...whatever." He just hoped that she needed it for prenatal care and not to pay for an abortion since she didn't seem all that gung-ho about telling him she was pregnant in the first place, not until he'd pushed.

"I know that, Lee, but I think we both need time to think and fully process everything before we make any hasty decisions." She gave him a sheepish look. "Speaking of hasty decisions...I...uh...I shouldn't have resigned the way I did. Do you...do you think Billy would let me rescind my resignation?"

He smiled and nodded. "You can bet on it. I told him he'd better not process it yet; at least not until I had a chance to talk to you about it and find out what was going on. In fact, he's at the office now waiting for my call and I just bet he's already got our covers set up for this weekend. That is, if you're up for a bit of an overnighter, not far away, just in Reston, but I could sure use you on this one, Partner." He then hesitated, "Unless...unless you think it wouldn't be safe for you to be running around with me while you're pregnant. Maybe we should talk to Billy about it and see what he thinks. I mean, you need to talk to him about your letter anyway, right?"

She let out a sigh. "Yeah, and I know you said he's waiting for you to call, but this is really something I should tell him face-to-face and not over the phone. "

"Since we're supposed to leave tomorrow, it's probably best if we do it tonight," he suggested, though he was seriously dreading having that conversation with his boss. "You know, just in case he decides to pull you out of it."

"Right. I'll just go check with Mother to make sure she's okay looking after the boys and then we can go, okay?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

There was silence in the car all the way to the Agency as both Lee and Amanda were lost in their own thoughts. He was stewing because she had so quickly turned down his marriage proposal and was hinting that she might not even keep the baby... _his_ baby. She'd yelled at him about acting like a caveman and trying to make all the decisions, but wasn't she doing the same thing by not including him and by attempting to run away in resigning from her job?

Amanda glanced over at Lee and his white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel, wondering just what was going through his mind. Was he thinking about the baby at all? She knew from his reaction that he was thinking of it as a responsibility he had to take care of and had even offered to help her financially if she needed it, but how did he actually feel about it? He was a good man with a big heart and a lot of love to give, but would this just be one more thing that would make him shy away from her again now that she'd refused to marry him on a whim? They'd grown so close recently, but now this pregnancy had changed everything. He'd offered her money for whatever she might need, but since he still hadn't said a word about his feelings regarding the baby, did that mean he wanted her to end it and was offering to pay for it?

"Well, here we are," Lee stated blandly as he pulled the 'Vette up to the curb in front of the IFF building.

"Already?" She'd been so lost in her own musings that she hadn't even been paying attention to their surroundings.

"Time flies when you're having fun," he quipped in an attempt to lighten the mood as he got out and walked around to her side of the car to open the door for her.

Once she'd exited the car, he placed a hand on the small of her back as they strolled up the walk together. Once they reached the front door, he stopped abruptly and turned to face her. "Listen, when we get in there, we...uh...I think we should talk to Billy together." He reached for her hand and gave it a light squeeze, hoping she wouldn't argue with him on that point too. "After all, we're in this together, right?"

"Right." She squeezed his hand in return to reassure him. "We are."

"Since you're so adamant about not getting married, let's just hope Billy doesn't keep a shotgun in his office, huh?" he teased.

"That's not what I-" She let out a sigh. "Never mind. Let's just go talk to him."

While they were in agreement before entering the building, neither was feeling quite so sure when they sat across from Billy in his office.

Billy looked from one to the other in an attempt to gauge what was behind the tension he sensed bubbling beneath the surface between the pair. He knew all too well what could happen between these two volatile, passionate people. The last time Amanda had attempted to resign, it had been just after the partners had had a blazing screaming match or so Lee had told him when he'd spent thirty minutes ranting to him about it at the time, but it had quickly been righted. While they were both hotheaded, they never seemed to stay mad at each other for long. He wondered if this was just one more situation like that. When neither spoke, he finally did, "So, Amanda, you said you wanted to recant your resignation? May I ask why?"

"Well, Sir, I-" She blew out a long breath as she tried to figure out just how to explain things to their boss. "I...that is, we...Lee and I, that is..." She trailed off, at a loss for words for once.

Without looking over at her, Lee reached for her hand for comfort and picked up the conversation. "It's a personal situation, Billy. The thing is, you may have noticed that Amanda and I...well, we've become...a little more than friends." He wasn't quite sure what they were just yet, but 'friends' definitely didn't fit them any longer, not now that they were having a baby together...that is, if Amanda decided to have the baby at all.

"Really?" Billy questioned as he tried to suppress a grin.

"Really," Amanda confirmed. "And I...uh...I have to confess that I didn't write that letter because I really wanted to quit, but because I...well, I wasn't sure how well we could still work together."

"So, that's all this was? A lovers' quarrel?" their boss asked. "Do I need to assign you new partners?"

"NO!" Lee and Amanda answered simultaneously.

"It was all just a big misunderstanding," Amanda explained. "I would really like to keep my job if that's okay and I promise, I will never do this to you again, Sir."

Billy nodded in understanding. "I think we can work something out," he agreed eagerly. "I was actually hoping you'd say that since I've already got your cover for this weekend worked out, but I had Francine signed on as a backup just in case."

"Billy, maybe you should send Francine along anyway," Lee suggested. "I..."

"There is a bit of a complication," Amanda chimed in when she sensed Lee's hesitation. She and Lee exchanged a look and when he gave her a half-smile, she plunged on, "I'm pregnant, Sir, and we didn't know if I could still do undercover jobs like this under the circumstances or how safe it would be... or if it's even allowed."

 _That explains the tension,_ Billy thought. "We can work that out too," he assured her. "Lee, I think your idea to keep Francine on this one with you two is a good one. Let her do more of the legwork to keep Amanda out of the line of fire."

"Good," Lee beamed. "Thanks." Still holding Amanda's hand, he rose, gently tugging her to her feet along with him.

"Do you two want to talk about this further? You know, I'm a family man myself and I have a lot of experience with balancing my family duties with Agency life if you need any help."

"Maybe another time, Billy," Lee answered quickly, not wanting to dive into the details of their earlier argument. "Right now, we're still trying to figure things out."

"Okay, but just remember, I'm here if you need me." As they started to leave, he couldn't help the wide grin that spread across his face, "And congratulations."


	4. Undercover Brother

As she rode silently in the passenger seat of Lee's car on their way to Reston, Amanda reflected back on the conversation with Billy the night before and what had led her to writing that letter in the first place.

 **December 11, 1985**

 _After the fifth unanswered phone call, Amanda haphazardly dropped the phone receiver in its cradle. Seeing her mother staring at her, she silently trudged up the stairs toward her bedroom before the tears that were threatening could fall._

 _Dotty shook her head, took a second to right the phone and hurriedly followed behind her daughter arriving just before Amanda could close the door. "Not so fast, Missy," she scolded with a hand on the door to keep her from shutting her out._

 _"Mother, please." Amanda blinked back the tears, determined not to let them fall as she sank wearily onto her bed._

 _Dotty moved into the room, sat beside her daughter and reached for her hand. "Amanda, Darling, is there the slightest chance that if I asked you what was wrong, you'd actually tell me the truth for a change?"_

 _"The truth? What truth? I don't know what it is you think I should be telling you."_

 _"Uh-huh. That's what I thought," Dotty replied scathingly. "Okay, then let me tell you the truth as I see it. For two days now, you've been trying desperately to get in touch with this man you work with...that Mr...Mr...Simpson..."_

 _"Stetson," Amanda corrected. There was no longer any point in lying to her mother about him under the circumstances._

 _"Simpson...Stetson...whatever. I could swear he also once called himself Steadman too, but that's not the point. The point is that you've called everyone but the president trying to track him down and that all started right after you got a call from Dr. Goodwin's office yesterday morning."_

 _"I don't get what you're driving at, Mother," her daughter replied evasively as her hands unconsciously drifted to her middle._

 _"Sure, you don't." She rolled her eyes. "So, why don't we add in the fact that you've been more tired lately, that you turned up your nose at your morning coffee at breakfast..." She nodded to Amanda's hand placement and went on, "Or that."_

 _Amanda abruptly moved her hands to her sides and stammered, "I-I-I...you know, I...uh...I just haven't been feeling well."_

 _"I know you haven't and it's not terribly difficult to figure out why OR why you're so desperate to get Mr. Simpson...Steadman...Stetson...whatever his name is...on the phone._

 _"Mother, just call him Lee. It will make things so much simpler."_

 _"Fine, Lee it is, but you're still missing my point. It's quite apparent to me that you're trying to get in touch with him to let him know that he's going to be a father."_

 _Instead of denying it, Amanda hung her head and admitted softly, "Yes." She swallowed hard as she felt the sting of unshed tears in her eyes again, "But it doesn't matter. He's gone and he's not returning my phone calls. I don't even know where he is or if he's checking his messages. I even left messages at work and he always checks those when he's on these overnight trips...every two hours like clockwork, but it's been two days now and I still haven't heard back from him."_

 _"Aren't you usually on these overnight 'work' trips with him?"_

 _"Mother, why do have to say 'work' like that as if these trips aren't really for work?"_

 _"Well, clearly at least one of them wasn't if he got you pregnant," Dotty replied knowingly._

 _Amanda chuckled dryly. "Actually, that one was too. Remember when I was out all night last month and never called and we had that argument about it when I got back?"_

 _"Which time?" her mother quipped._

 _Amanda rolled her eyes. "The one when you said it looked like I'd been crawling through a swamp all night." When her mother nodded. "The truth is, I really was tromping through a swamp all night...or most of the night anyway. We stopped for awhile so we could get some rest and that's when we-" She broke off and let out another sigh. "But now I have to wonder if he'll even call me again with the way things have been going."_

 _"Perhaps he's not in a position to call you back either," Dotty suggested. "Like that night you were in the swamp or when you and I were held captive with Dr. Zernov by those fake policemen."_

 _"What has that got to do with anything?"_

 _"Amanda, I'm not stupid. I knew who Mr. Melrose was the moment I met him. I've talked to him on the phone, remember? That man has a very distinctive voice. That's not even mentioning all those maneuvers you pulled that night trying to get us out of there. You didn't learn that in any of your self-defense classes." Off her daughter's concerned look, "Oh, don't look so worried, Darling. Mr. Melrose made it quite clear just how important it is that you all operate in secret, but I must say, it does make your life over the past couple of years make a lot more sense. Like that time you were talking about that nuclear bomb about to go off and told me you were a spy...you were telling me the truth for a change then, weren't you?"_

 _"Yes, Mother, I was."_

 _"And that explains all those times that you're not able to get home when you're expected to."_

 _"Yeah, that too."_

 _"So, maybe this is the same thing. Maybe he just can't get to a phone to check his messages."_

 _"Maybe." She knew her mother was trying to cheer her up, but truthfully, she'd only made it worse. Now, she was worried for his safety too, not just that he was ignoring her. But still, if he were in any real danger, she felt sure that Billy would have told her so. He cared that much for his agents' well-being. As she thought back to Lee's 'two people seeking a little warmth,' comment, she couldn't help thinking that maybe there was more truth to his reputation around the office than she had wanted to believe. Maybe now that they'd had sex, he was no longer interested._ But then why did he ask you out even after that? _another voice argued in her head._ If he's still interested, why hadn't he made a real move since then? _a contradicting thought struck her. "You know, Mother, you've given me a lot to think about." She rose from her bed and dug through her nightstand for the stationery she kept there. "I think I know just what I need to do, but if you don't mind, I could use a little quiet time to do it."_

 _"Of course," her mother answered and left the room._

 _Thirty minutes later, Amanda trotted down the stairs, letter in hand. "Mother, I'm heading out for a bit, but I'll be back soon, probably before the boys get home from school."_

 _Dotty turned to face her, "Oh, good, you decided to write him a letter," she gushed. "You know, sometimes that's the best way to really get all your feelings out in the open."_

 _"No, Mother, this isn't for him. This is for Mr. Melrose. It's my letter of resignation."_

 _"Amanda, no! You can't quit your job over this, especially when you're going to have another mouth to feed. That's not to mention that you're going to have medical expenses with your pregnancy."_

 _"I'll find something else. I'm sure Mr. Melrose will write me a letter of recommendation for something else...something safer."_

 _"Do you mean safer because of the nature of the job or safer because of Lee?"_

 _"Oh, Mother," Amanda sighed._

 _"I never thought I'd ever see the day that you just gave up on something that you wanted and it's quite obvious that you want this man."_

 _"I do. I really do, but it does no good if he doesn't want me in return."_

 _"How do you know he doesn't? I mean, he obviously wanted you enough at one time if you're expecting his child. Perhaps, if you told him, that would just make his feelings for you more apparent."_

 _"No. I don't want him to want me that way," she argued. "You saw how well that worked out with Joe."_

 _"But that was very different. You and Joe were just out of college then, you didn't have a lot of money because he was still in law school so the two of you started out struggling. You and Lee are much older and more settled. I think he just might surprise you."_

 _"Mother, you've never even met him so you can't possibly know that."_

 _"Whose fault is that for never bringing him around to meet me?" Dotty replied pointedly._ _"Do you have any idea how it makes me feel that Joe, a man you're no longer married to, has met your new gentleman friend and I haven't?"_

 _"Mother, that couldn't be helped. Joe was in trouble and Lee was assigned to his case. He could hardly investigate to clear Joe's name without meeting him, now could he?"_

 _"Be that as it may, if you've been serious enough about this man to have sex with him, don't you think he should have met your family by now?"_

 _"Alright, look, I understand why you'd be hurt that I never introduced you to him, but you said upstairs that you understood from Mr. Melrose why we have to keep what we do for a living a secret. Keeping him a secret from you was all part of that and I never imagined in a million years that it would come to this. But either way, it doesn't matter anymore since I'm leaving the Agency and I won't have to keep those kind of secrets from you anymore."_

 _"No, just from him apparently," Dotty snorted. "I know that I don't know him, but_ _I don't have to.. I know you and I know that you'd never sleep with a man that you didn't trust with your life,_ _so why shouldn't you trust him with this?_ _"_

 _"I trusted Joe too," she reminded her mother._

 _"Well, either way, he still has a right to know. After all, it's his baby too. Don't you think you owe him the opportunity to at least respond to the situation? And to yourself to find out how he feels about the idea of becoming a father?"_

 _"After him ignoring my calls for two days, I just don't know how I can possibly face him, let alone drop this kind of bombshell on him."_

"Hey," Lee said loudly to get her attention. "You okay, over there?"

"Uh...yeah. I was just...just thinking," Amanda replied absently.

"Anything you care to share?" he probed.

"Just this whole situation, you, me, the baby, the boys, my mother, our job, Billy knowing everything. It's a lot."

"Tell me about it," he uttered tersely.

"You can't tell me you haven't been thinking about it too."

"Of course I have, Amanda, but keep in mind that I haven't had as much time to process this as you have. You've got a two-day head start on me."

"Not for lack of trying," she complained. "I wanted to tell you the second I found out so we could talk about it."

"Amanda, I said I was sorry for being out of touch and not returning your calls right away. What would you have me do, just ignore a friend's request like that? A friend, who I might add, is in a coma right now because of all of this."

"You never told me that."

"You never asked. Not once did you ask me if things were okay, or for that matter if I was okay. The first thing you did was yell at me for not calling and I'm really, truly sorry that I didn't. As my partner, I should have let you know where I was going and how long I'd be gone."

"Your partner? Is that all I am to you?"

He let out a sigh. "Amanda, you know damn well that you're much more than that to me, but I meant just strictly in a work sense, you _are_ my partner."

"Funny, because I seem to recall that it took you two years to really acknowledge me as your partner and even then, it was only after I threatened to quit. Is that what it takes for me to really get your attention? Do I have to resign every time I need something from you?"

"Well, I'd say that's a moot point since you promised Billy you'd never do that to him again." He gave her a pointed look. "Why are you jumping on every word I say now anyway? It's like you're _trying_ to start a fight."

"No, I don't want to fight. I'm just...tense." She took a deep breath to calm her addled nerves wondering how things were going to go between them with this cover assignment. They hadn't been on an overnighter together since they'd made love and she couldn't help thinking about being in close quarters with him and what it might lead to, but she wasn't sure how to broach the subject with him. "So, tell me what you know about this case."

By the time they arrived at their motel, Amanda was all caught up on what it was they were investigating and she'd finally thought of a way to introduce the idea of them sharing living space. As they unloaded their luggage, she began babbling about the bathroom and how she liked to sleep with a window cracked until he stunned her by informing her they were in separate rooms and registered as brother and sister.

Lee looked equally stunned moments later upon checking in with her very obvious comment of "Married once, cured forever."

 _Wow,_ he thought. She _really doesn't want to get married again._ He wondered if it was because Joe had hurt her so badly or if it was just that she didn't want to marry him. But then, he supposed it could be nothing more than she already told him, that she didn't want to get married just out of necessity. As they made their way to their rooms, he tried to comfort himself with that thought and that maybe with the right bit of coaxing, combined with a little romancing, he could get her to change her mind. He just hoped it was before their baby was born. He'd lost so much in his life, he didn't want to lose her too all because of one night of reckless passion.


	5. Freeze-out Treatment

**December 13, 1985**

After their impromptu meeting with Marvin Metz, Lee and Amanda sat in silence in his room, neither quite sure what to talk about other than the case and they'd exhausted that topic. While they'd agreed to work together, despite their personal issues, that had only served to make things worse between them since Amanda was obviously pissed about their cover assignment. _That's a good start,_ Lee thought. _Talk about that._ He wasn't one who was overly chatty like Amanda was, but this stiff, awkward silence was unnerving since there was so much left unspoken between them, for one thing, how she felt about the fact that she was carrying his child.

"Hey, Amanda, listen," he began with a bit of a nervous quaver in his tone. "I...uh...I think we should talk." Off her wary look, he clarified, "About this cover thing, I mean."

"I'm listening," she replied stiffly.

"When I set this up, I did it so we wouldn't be forced to share a room," he explained. When she narrowed her eyes at him, he knew instantly that had been the wrong thing to say.

"I see," was her cool response. "Well, I guess that answers any questions I had about if you're really ready for marriage. If you can't stand the thought of sharing a room with me for a job, that's a clear indication that you're not ready to share a home."

"That's not what I meant, Amanda." He began pacing. "It's like I was saying last night about Joe coming back. I saw how cozy the two of you were and I wasn't sure where I stood with you anymore. Hell, I'm still not."

She shook her head in disbelief. Did he really not know her at all? "So, you thought what? That just because Joe and I don't hate each other like a lot of other divorced couples do, that I'd just jump back into his arms the second he came home mere weeks after having sex with you? I may have easily agreed to sleeping with you in the swamp when we were cold and scared, but I'm not one of your black book girls. I don't sleep around."

"I know that, Amanda, and I wasn't suggesting that, but I also do know how important family is to you and at the time, I was thinking that you might...I don't know, want to get your family back together. But after our talk last night when you decided you didn't want to marry me just for us to be a family, I realized I was wrong, but by that time, I'd already had Billy set up our cover this way and it was too late to change it. There was another reason that I set it up this way too that wasn't just about you and me - or it was, but kind of in an indirect way. When I heard you'd quit your job and realized I might be stuck with Francine, I - well, I figured that if I couldn't talk you out of quitting right away, I...uh...I really didn't want to share a room with her, especially on a couple cover because it would just be awkward. Plus, I knew that if you knew I'd been on that kind of job with her, it would be that much harder to make amends with you for whatever it was I'd done to get you so pissed at me in the first place."

"Oh, so it was about Francine too?" she snorted. She remembered their long-ago cover as a married couple when he'd made the remark, "If Francine had come along."

"Yes, but not in _that_ way," he replied defensively as he read the jealousy on her face. "It was really all about you. Did you miss the part where I said I didn't want to be on a couple cover with her OR share a room with her?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess I did," she nodded. "Sorry. I...um...I guess I'm just a little on edge about this whole thing. You weren't entirely wrong though; I would have been upset if you'd done that. You were also right when you said family is important to me, but it's not so important that I'd jump into a relationship that I don't want just to have some fake representation of a family...and that's what it would be with Joe...fake because we don't have the right kind of feelings for each other to make a marriage work."

"So... since we're talking about family, I have to know. Have you decided what you're going to do yet...about the baby, I mean?"

"What do you mean what _I'm_ going to do? Just last night, you were suggesting we get married and outside the Agency, you said we were in this together. Don't you feel that way anymore?"

"Yes. Of course, I do. We _are_ in this together, but you turned me down, remember? And the way you were talking last night about not telling the boys until _you_ decide what to do, I can't help wondering if that means you don't want the baby at all."

"I _do_ want this baby. You don't think I'd..." Off his inquisitive and somewhat insistent look, she replied, "Really? Do you think I'd have gone to all the trouble of having that very awkward conversation with Billy about it if I weren't planning on keeping the baby?"

"Good," he let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding while he'd awaited her answer. "That's good."

"Does that mean..." She looked at him sideways when she saw all the tension drain from his face to be replaced by a look of relief. "Do _you_ want this baby?"

"I've never wanted anything more in my life," he confessed. "I know I acted like a jerk at first, but I...uh...I've never had a family and as much as I've tried to keep myself from getting too close to anyone, I...I don't know...somewhere in the back of my mind, I've always wanted kids of my own...and a real family." He took her hand in his and added, "And I can't think of a better mother for my kid than you."

"Really?" She raised an eyebrow and then shot him a teasing grin, "Just last night, you were implying I wasn't that great a mother. What was it you said? That I'd be setting a bad example for the boys if I didn't marry you?"

"That's not exactly what I said, but the point still stands. What are you...or _we_...going to tell them if we don't get married? I mean, you made it pretty clear when we were checking in that that option is completely off the table when you made your 'married once, cured forever' crack."

"Lee, I didn't-"

She didn't get to continue because there was a knock on the door. Guessing that it was probably Francine checking in with them, Lee quickly switched gears to talk about Amanda's breakfast date with Metz as he moved to open the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Later that night while Lee was lying in bed, he kept replaying their conversation in his head, in particular what Amanda had said about jumping into a relationship that she didn't want just for the sake of family. What he couldn't quite figure out is if she'd meant it specifically in reference to Joe or if she'd been talking about him too. After all, she had turned down his offer to marry her. His mind drifted to the latter part of her statement when she'd said she and Joe didn't have the right kind of feelings for each other to sustain a marriage. Did she feel that way about him too?

He knew how he felt about her and had for a long time, but he couldn't quite figure out what her feelings were for him. There were times when he'd catch her looking at him and he could swear he saw something in her eyes that said she cared for him more than she let on, especially that night they'd created their unborn child. He was sure that she'd been about to tell him that she loved him in that moment, then for whatever reason, she'd switched gears and said she was glad to have known him.

"Ha," he snorted as he thought of how, just minutes later, they'd come to know each other in the biblical sense. But that was what had gotten them into this situation to begin with. He kept turning things over and over in his mind and while he was trying to understand her point of view regarding getting married, he just couldn't. Was it him or was it marriage in general that she didn't want because of what had happened in her first one? He wished he could figure it out. Clearly, she'd wanted him in the way she'd pleaded for him in the swamp, but was it one of those situations where he was good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to marry?

He wondered how he could make her understand that while he'd brought up the subject in an awkward way, he really did want to marry her, not just because of the baby? He'd been trying for months to romance her, to treat her right and let her know that she was important to him and not just another conquest; that he wanted a real future with her, but that was all shot to hell now that she was pregnant. He wasn't sure he could ever convince her that he wanted the whole package and not just the baby she was carrying.

Across the hall, Amanda was equally sleepless, tossing fitfully with her mind in turmoil over the situation she and Lee found themselves in. She'd invited him into her room in the hopes that they could finish their conversation and of course, maybe more than that. She'd hoped that once they were alone together since they seemed to be closer to being on the same page that they might make love again. It had been over a month since their first time together and while it had been a bit awkward due to their location, she'd really enjoyed being with him and had thought he had too.

She let out a deep sigh as she thought of his crack last night outside the Agency building about Billy having a shotgun in his office. She wondered if that was his subtle way of taking back his impromptu marriage proposal. He'd been angry, almost violently so, when she'd turned him down so forcefully, so why would he do such a thing? Maybe he'd only meant it as a joke to lighten the mood. After all, he had seemed rather affronted when she'd made that crack about marriage in the lobby. She had tried to explain to him that she didn't mean it, but as luck would have it, Francine had interrupted, just as she had later on when Lee was standing outside her room. She wondered if Francine had purposely kept lingering in the hallway to stop them from having any time alone; if she'd somehow sensed that they were on the verge of something. Amanda did have to admit to herself though that she had wanted to invite him into more than just her room.

She glanced at the clock and let out a groan. It wouldn't be long before she had to be up for her breakfast with Marvin Metz and she knew she'd be a wreck if she didn't get some sleep, but she didn't know how to shut her mind down enough to fall asleep. Her hands drifted to her stomach and she smiled at the thought of the tiny life growing inside her, elated to at least know now that Lee did indeed want this baby even if he didn't want her. "Don't you worry, Baby Stetson," she whispered softly. "Your daddy is gonna' love you like crazy." She just wished she knew for sure if he loved her too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You know, now I'm really craving some chocolate," Amanda blurted out after a moment of silence had passed between her and Francine. "Like those triple-chocolate brownies. You know the ones I mean, they're chocolate brownies with chocolate chips on the inside and chocolate frosting on top?"

"Yeah, like the ones you brought for the Fourth of July party last summer," Francine nodded. "Those were so good. I must have eaten half a dozen of them myself."

Amanda laughed. "Oh, I understand. That's one of my favorite recipes. It goes back years. It all started when I was pregnant with Jamie. Oh my gosh, I craved chocolate all the time with him. I think I drove Joe crazy because I spent so much time baking. Not to mention that I gained forty pounds, not so much when I was expecting Phillip." Her hands slipped down to her abdomen and she thought of the baby she was carrying now and wondered what would happen with this one. What would Lee think of her once her pregnancy really started showing? Would he still want her? Of course, she wasn't sure if he still wanted her now when he hadn't really made a move since that night in the swamp.

"I cannot imagine that," Francine replied disbelievingly as she glanced at Amanda's slender body. "You're so tiny."

"Oh, believe it, Francine. I was...huge. Out to here" She made a rounded gesture with her arms before resting her hands on her stomach again. 'I have pictures to prove it. Joe insisted on documenting every stage of my pregnancy." Her thoughts again drifted to Lee wondering if he would be the same way since he'd made it very clear that he wanted their baby.

"You know, he didn't seem like a bad guy when he came in for his debriefing."

"Lee? But you said...you said I couldn't...couldn't count on Lee."

"We were talking about your ex," Francine reminded her, wondering if the lack of oxygen was getting to Amanda or if she was just that besotted with Lee.

"Oh, he's not. He's really a good man. We just...we just didn't really want the same things out of life."

"So, no chance of a reconciliation?"

"None." Amanda shook her head trying to shake off the cobwebs in it to no avail. "That ship...has sailed."

"Or maybe you're just too busy waiting for Lee to wake up and notice that you're a woman," the blonde replied pointedly.

"Oh, he knows all too well that I'm a woman," Amanda mumbled sleepily. Her thoughts shifted back to the baby she was carrying and if it would survive the lack of oxygen. That was her last conscious thought for a long moment.

"Amanda?" Francine questioned when her companion had fallen silent. "Amanda?"

"Baby," Amanda murmured.

"Still got your babies on the brain, huh?" Francine mumbled, feeling sleepy herself.

"Baby," Amanda repeated. She was startled a few minutes later by the sound of gunfire and Lee calling her name. "Yes!" she cried as he led both her and Francine out of the freezer.

Lee tried his best to help both women get warmed up after their time in the freezer, but his glance kept drifting to Amanda and noticing how green she looked. "Amanda, are you okay?"

"I don't feel so good," she answered.

With an arm still around each of them, he led them toward the exit and stated firmly, "I'm taking you to the hospital to get you checked out."

"No, I'll be fine in a minute. Just need to get warmed up." She stifled a yawn as she sucked in deep gulps of air and tried to breathe normally again, but then quickly placed a hand over her mouth as a wave of nausea swept over her.

Her movement didn't go unnoticed by Lee. "No arguments. You're going. I'm not taking any chances with your health."

"Uh...hello? I'm here too," Francine sniffed in an affronted tone.

"We'll get you both there if you need to go too, Francine, but Amanda's the one who looks like she's about to pass out again."

Francine wriggled away from Lee. "You know what? I can get there on my own," she snapped as she stalked off ahead of the other two.

When Amanda faltered as they walked, he quickly swept her up into his arms and carried her the rest of the way to his car. "Francine," he called. "Can you help me get the door so I can get her in the car?"

"Figures," Francine snorted as she backtracked toward the 'Vette.

"Look, can't you see how sick she is?"

As she opened the car door and Lee settled Amanda in the passenger seat, Francine took a good long look at the other woman and replied, "Yeah, I guess." She had to admit to herself that Amanda really did look sick like she was on the verge of fainting or throwing up, she wasn't quite sure which. As if reading her thoughts, Amanda bent over the side of the car and promptly emptied the contents of her stomach.

"Amanda," Lee knelt by her side and pulled her hair back from her face. "God, your skin is like ice."

"Well, no shit," Francine scoffed. "She was just in a freezer. And by the way, so was I!"

"Not now, Francine. I've got to get her to a hospital."

"I'm sorry," Amanda said weakly as she leaned against Lee.

"Hey, you've got nothing to be sorry for," Lee told her. "This is partially my fault. Do you feel well enough to sit up properly so we can get you to a doctor?"

She nodded. "I think so."

He helped to get her settled again and closed her door and made his way around to the driver's side.

"Do you care to clue me in here?" Francine questioned.

"I said not now, Francine!" he barked. He wasn't about to take another chance with Amanda's life or the life of his child.

"Great," she muttered as she watched Lee speed away. Just what the hell was going on with him? She thought about it all the way back to her own car wondering just how deep this thing he had for Amanda was. It had been clear to her last night that they were on the verge of...something. She just wished she knew what that something was and why he was so hell-bent on pursuing Amanda to the exclusion of all else, including his friendship with her.


	6. Marry-Go-Round

**December 15, 1985**

As he walked toward his front door, Lee grumbled, "This better be important."

"Well, hello to you too," Francine responded coolly when he flung the door open and she sauntered inside.

"What do you want?" he barked impatiently.

She surveyed the room taking note of what appeared to be the setup of a romantic dinner for two, complete with candlelight, a bottle chilling on the dining table and the smell of something cooking. "Well, it's obvious what _you_ want. As for what I want, how about you start with an explanation?"

"For what?"

"Oh, I don't know...how about how when I was trapped in that freezer right alongside Amanda, it was only her name you were calling out. Or maybe you could explain why it was that even though I was stuck in there just as long as she was, it was her well-being you were concerned with when you insisted she go to the hospital." She twirled around the room in a grand sweeping gesture. "Or maybe you could explain this..."

"This isn't what it looks li-," he began.

"Isn't it?" Francine snorted, cutting him off. "It seems to me that no matter how much you may flirt with Amanda and try to convince her that you're a changed man, you're still up to your old tricks."

"What old tricks would those be, Francine?" Amanda questioned as she entered the room from the kitchen and moved to Lee's side where he put an arm around her automatically.

"You still don't look so good. Are you okay?" he asked in concern as he began to rub her back.

"Yeah, I just...I'm just not feeling all that well...you know, after the freezer and all." By the conversation she'd just overheard, she was quite sure that Lee hadn't yet told Francine that she was carrying his child so didn't want to let on that her feeling ill was due to pregnancy symptoms.

"You and me both. In fact, that's what Lee and I were just discussing, isn't it? How a so-called 'friend' could just turn their back on another friend." She reflected back on her sniping at Amanda in the freezer and how she shouldn't count on Lee, but as it turned out, she herself was the one who couldn't count on him.

"Look, Francine, I'm sorry if I made you feel like I didn't care about you because it was Amanda I was calling for and not you, but you don't understand what's going on here, okay? This whole thing is complicated and you don't know all the facts."

"Maybe she should," Amanda suggested. It would certainly make things easier for both of them if they didn't have to keep talking in circles around the other woman or keep trying to dodge her questions about the nature of their relationship. "It's not as if we're going to be able to keep this to ourselves forever."

"Puh-lease," the blonde scoffed. "I have all the facts I need to know. It's obvious that I'm a third wheel here, so I'll just go now." She shot them a salacious grin. "You two have fun now," she purred just before she sailed out the door.

Lee let out a sigh. "What the hell was that all about?"

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Come on, Lee, I heard her yelling at you. I think we both know what that was all about. She's feeling a little out of sorts about you paying more attention to me than her and from the sounds of it, feeling like maybe you're not her friend anymore."

"Of course, I'm still her friend, Amanda. Why should that change just because you and I are involved?"

" _Are_ we involved?"

He took her hands in his and said her name softly, "Amanda...you're having my baby. I think that makes us pretty involved, don't you?"

"Yes, I am having your baby and yes, that makes us involved in that sense, but we only had sex that one time and while we've been on a few dates since then, that hardly puts us in the solid relationship category."

He abruptly released her hands, dropping his own to his sides and stared at her open-mouthed. "Amanda, I asked you to marry me. What more can I do to prove to you that I'm involved?"

"No, Lee, you didn't _ask_ me to marry you. What you said was 'we'll have to get married' just like you did in San Angelo on the honeymoon cruise."

He shook his head. "I should've married you for real then instead of using a fake name."

She shot him a scolding look. "What good would that have done when you didn't want to marry me then any more than you really want to marry me now?"

"Who says I don't?" he challenged her. "For that matter, who says I didn't then? Didn't you think there might be a reason that I chose you to go on that trip with me rather than someone else? But then you were so uptight about it that I-" He turned away from her, raked both hands through his hair and then changed the subject. "You know, I should go check on dinner." He stalked toward the kitchen.

She quickly followed him. "Not so fast," she admonished him as she joined him in the kitchen and placed her hands on her hips. "Are you going to answer my question or not?"

"You know what good it would have done? We'd already be married and would've been married when our baby was conceived and we wouldn't be having this argument...again." He turned to open the oven door to check on the lasagna he was making.

"Ugh," Amanda grimaced at the aroma wafting out from the open oven.

Lee paused to look at her noticing she was no longer in an argumentative posture, but had one hand over her mouth and the other on her stomach. "Are you okay?"

She held up one finger, took a deep breath as she tried to will the wave of nausea to pass and then quickly left the room, Lee hot on her heels calling her name. "Amanda?"

She sank down onto the sofa and blew out a long breath, feeling a bit better once she was away from the smell. She nodded. "I'm okay. I just...something hit me when you opened the oven. The garlic, I think."

"Oh," he frowned. "I...uh...I thought you liked Italian food."

"Oh, I do," she acknowledged. "It's just that during pregnancy sometimes strong smells can make you a bit queasy, but I'm okay now."

"But how are you going to be able to eat if just the smell of dinner is making you sick?" He sat beside her. "Should I scrap the lasagna and make something else?"

"No, no. I'm sure I'll be fine. It was just the smell hit me all at once when you opened the oven and your kitchen is such a small space that it was a bit overwhelming. But that's also why I let Francine think I wasn't feeling well because of our time in the freezer. It seemed like you didn't want her to know."

"What were you thinking suggesting telling her? That's what I was saying 'what the hell' about earlier, not her behavior."

"I was thinking that she's your friend and as your friend, she should know what's going on. Clearly, she thinks that you're just trying to add me to your black books or something like that. Maybe if you told her, she wouldn't feel like you're neglecting her in favor of romancing me. That's one of the worst things you can do to a friend, ignore them in favor of a new lover."

"Is that what we are? Lovers?" he questioned.

"Well, we've slept together so I think it fits," she answered.

"One time," he reminded her, throwing her own words back in her face. "And you haven't seemed all that interested in anything more than that...or am I misunderstanding?"

"My point is that this isn't something we're going to be able to hide forever. First of all, because Billy already knows and as his assistant, Francine is going to start wondering why he's giving me lighter assignments or why she's suddenly being called on to help you out more often and second, it's going to be rather obvious before long and really, you wouldn't want her finding out that way, would you? Waiting until I'm out to here?" She made a rounded gesture with her arms. "She should hear the news first-hand and it would be better coming from you than it would from me."

"Okay, you make a good point. Now, if I could just figure out how the hell to tell her."

"Maybe that's something we can figure out together like everything else."

"Sounds like a good plan." He leaned in to kiss her softly. "Now, you never did answer my question."

"Your question?" she asked wide-eyed as if she didn't know what he was talking about.

"Don't do that, Amanda, not when I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you."

She nodded. "You're right. I need to stop trying to pretend that I don't know what you're talking about. It's just...it's hard. I mean, we've gone about this all backward. At first, I wasn't even sure I liked you and I know for sure you didn't like me."

"That's not true," Lee argued. "It was never that I didn't like you. I was just annoyed by Billy forcing a partner on me. I would've felt that way about anyone, not you specifically."

"Okay, maybe that's true, but you're missing my point. We worked together and then we became friends, then closer friends, then we started just casually dating, a dinner here, the opera there, but we never really set anything in stone that said we were a couple or just dating or if we were still free to see other people. There was no real commitment...on either side, then-"

"Amanda, I haven't-"

She held up a finger to stop him. "Let me finish. I'm not saying that was what I wanted necessarily. I was fine with things progressing slowly because that's how it should be when you move from a close friendship to a romance, but then that night in the swamp happened and it changed everything. Now, we're having a baby together when we don't really even know where we stand with each other."

He let out a deep sigh. "This is about your past with Joe again, isn't it?"

"No, it's not. It's just about you and me. I admit that I can't help making comparisons because he and I got married before we were really prepared to because we felt we had to and the way you phrased your sudden marriage proposal, if you can even call it that, made me feel like it was just history repeating itself. It wasn't about love or wanting to be with each other or even if you and I are ready to commit to a life together. It was just about necessity and I don't want to be under that kind of pressure to get married again because it didn't work for me the first time. But honestly, it's not about Joe or me comparing you to him or thinking you'd do the same thing he did. I know you're a good man and you want to do right by me and our baby, but that doesn't mean we have to make a snap decision right this second just because there _is_ a baby, especially if one or both of us might regret it down the road."

"So, where do we go from here?"

"Well, I think we just keep doing what we're doing, spend time together away from work or as you put it awhile back when you said 'no shop talk' and see what we feel for each other aside from the baby stuff, just make it about you and me like we were doing before I got pregnant and leave the baby out of it."

"You're suggesting that I forget that you're carrying my child? Amanda, I can't do that."

"I'm not saying forget, but just not to make the baby a factor in anything that happens between us. Now, to get to the answer to your question, I think you did misunderstand a bit. It's not that I haven't been interested in pursuing the more physical aspect of our relationship. It's partially that I thought you weren't with the way you tried to brush it off after the fact-"

"I already told you, that's not what I was trying to do," he protested.

"I understand that now, but I didn't then. The other part of the equation is that the opportunity just hasn't presented itself again. That's a big part of the reason I was so mad at you for the brother/sister cover. I thought that was just one more way of you telling me you weren't interested anymore since I told you I wouldn't marry you."

"Well, you know, if we _were_ married, it wouldn't be an issue, would it?" he teased.

She laughed and replied, "No, I guess it wouldn't. And I really should apologize for that 'married once, cured forever' crack I made."

"Why should you if that's how you really feel?" He shrugged, trying to be nonchalant about it.

"Because it's not how I really feel. I only said that to make a point and I tried to tell you that, but then Francine interrupted us. I have thought about it ever since you brought up the subject and I'm not opposed to getting married again, but I want it to be for the right reasons, not because we feel obligated to."

"So, you're suggesting what? Just dating?"

"More than just dating, I guess, but not moving so fast that we can't think straight. Why do you think I invited you into my room the other night? It's because I _was_ interested."

"Huh. Leave it to Francine to interrupt at just the wrong time again."

"It's probably better this way," she confessed. "I mean, if we'd spent the night together that night, we could have seriously endangered our cover."

"That's true."

"But that doesn't mean I'm not still interested. It would be nice to have a normal night together...you know, in an actual bed where we can take our time."

"And without twigs and rocks jabbing me in the back," he added with a laugh.

"And maybe where we can get completely undressed."

"That too," he agreed. He had to admit that he liked that idea. While they'd had sex, they hadn't seen each other naked or taken the time to really get to know one another's bodies. "One thing's for sure, we'll have a hell of a story if this kid ever asks how they were conceived," he laughed.

"Yes, we will. As for the marriage stuff, I'll make you a deal, if you're willing to meet me halfway on this other stuff, I'll change my 'no' to a 'maybe,' because I admit that when you first suggested it, my immediate response was a bit...well, premature because I was just so stunned."

"I admit that I could have done a better job. I really botched things up that night. You weren't the only one who was stunned. You know by now that I've...well, I've been around a bit and I've always been so cautious up until now because I didn't want any entanglements and when you told me you were pregnant as a result of just that one time together, I-"

"You were thrown," she completed for him. "I know. I was too."

"You know something? You were right when you asked if it was my uncle talking. I confess that I was hearing a bit of him in my head lecturing me about responsibility. I panicked like a teenage kid who'd just learned he'd gotten his girlfriend pregnant and I handled it badly, but I can live with a maybe." He smiled warmly at her. "It's a hell of a lot better than a no. Now that we've settled the question of whether or not we're both interested in making love again, I just have one more question for you."

"What's that?"

"Can you stay tonight? I mean, you do still have your suitcase in my car since you spent last night in the hospital and haven't gone home yet."

"I would love to, but the boys have school tomorrow."

He nodded and then sighed. "Just this once, can't your mother handle getting them ready for school in the morning?"

"Just this once?" she questioned with an arched eyebrow. "I think you're forgetting just how many times she's looked after the boys when I couldn't make it home, like that night in the swamp. And like you just said, I haven't been home all weekend so she's been looking after the boys all that time."

"Okay, yes, she's stepped up a lot, but that was all work-related, not personal. Really, what's one more night since she's already watched them for two days?" This is just one more thing that would fall under the 'no shop talk' rule we set for ourselves. Besides, now that I've met her, I'm sure she'd be thrilled that you want to stay with me.

"She'd be more thrilled if we were getting married," Amanda joked.

"See? Just one more reason for you to turn that maybe into a yes," he fired back.

"Okay, I'll call her and ask, but if she starts in on her usual third degree, I'm handing the phone off to you to let you deal with it for a change."

"But she's _your_ mother," he argued.

"And if you want her to someday be your mother-in-law, you're going to have to learn to deal with her over stuff like this. So that's just one more item to add to the list of things that need to be different. Not only that, but if you do decide that you want to marry me for real and not just as a gut reaction to having a baby, you're going to need to get to know her...and the boys."

"Fair enough," he conceded.

"To be honest, I think you're right. I don't think she'll have a bit of trouble looking after the boys for one more night." She gave him a flirtatious smile, "But if I go to all this trouble to make it work, you'd just better keep your promise to warm me up."

"Count on it."


	7. Dinner and Dessert

As Amanda had predicted, Dotty had a million questions and true to her threat to Lee, she handed the phone off to him to let him deal with it. "I'm just going to go get my bag from your car," she told him with a teasing grin and left him to his own devices while she hurried off.

"Hi...uh...Mrs. West. It's Lee. Listen, I know this is...uh...a lot to ask, but it would really mean a lot to me...to me and Amanda, that is, if you could look after the boys for just one more night. You see, we...uh...we just got back from our work trip and we need-"

"Oh, I can imagine just what you need," Dotty interrupted. "And I insist that you stop this 'Mrs. West' business right now and start calling me Dotty. I mean, you are the father of my new grandchild so that makes us practically family. Of course, if you and Amanda were to get married, that would make us family and maybe...just maybe, you could call me...Mom?"

"Um...I-I-I-" He let out a sigh of frustration. "I'm working on that part, but for now, how about we stick with Dotty, if that's okay with you?"

"Okay," she agreed. "As for taking care of the boys for another night, I don't have a bit of a problem with it."

"Oh, good."

"On one condition," Dotty added in a mischievous tone.

 _Oh crap!_ Lee cringed. "What's that?"

"You have to come to dinner tomorrow night and be properly introduced to this family," she stated firmly.

He breathed a sigh of relief that that was all she wanted. "I can do that," he eagerly agreed just as Amanda re-entered the apartment with her bag in hand. He smiled at her and thought that maybe him coming around to the house more often would even convince Amanda that he was serious about her so he could work on turning her 'maybe' into a 'yes.' "So, I'll see you tomorrow night then."

"Oh, and Lee?" Dotty added. "One thing you should keep in mind. You may be a big, tough spy, but if you do anything to hurt my daughter, just remember that I can always use some more fertilizer for the flower garden you keep trampling to death."

Lee stared at the receiver in his hand after Dotty hung up abruptly.

"Everything okay?" Amanda inquired.

He shook his head as he hung up the phone. "I think your mother just threatened me."

Amanda giggled as she set her suitcase down. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"You set me up," he accused with a teasing grin.

"Oh, come on," she linked her arms behind his neck and gave him little peck on the lips. "You know she's only doing that because she loves me and wants what's best for me."

"Yeah, I know," he replied as he slipped his arms around her waist. "But you know, I have a feeling that you're going to have me around the house as a regular dinner guest if your mother has her way."

"Hmm...I don't think that's such a bad idea." She kissed him once more. "You did say you were tired of being outside, didn't you?"

"That I did, From the sounds of it, she's tired of it too since she mentioned me trampling her flower bed," he joked as he used his grip on her waist to pull her closer, brushing a feather-light kiss against her lips. In a more serious tone, he added, "I really meant that, you know. I don't want us to keep sneaking around the way we have been. I want your family to know that you're important to me and that they are too."

"Are you sure it's not too much, too soon?" she questioned warily. "I mean, with the baby and all?"

"I thought we agreed that we weren't going to factor the baby into any of our relationship decisions," he reminded her.

"Right." She nodded.

"The way I look at it, getting to know the family, it's...well, it's just part of a normal, developing relationship, including the death threats from your mother."

She beamed at him. "That it is."

"Listen, I should go check on dinner." He gave a slight nod to her suitcase. "Why don't you go put your suitcase in the bedroom while I do that so you don't get hit by the smell of it again?"

"Good plan," she agreed and with one more quick kiss, they separated.

Over dinner, Lee inquired as to just how Dotty knew he was a spy and Amanda explained how the whole conversation with her mother about her job and their unborn child had come about and then in more detail what had led to her turning in her resignation. "That's why she wasn't the least bit surprised when you showed up that night and why she was perfectly happy to leave us alone to talk," she concluded as they began to clear the table.

"Huh. So, what you're telling me is that your mother knew I was going to be a father before I did?" He couldn't help the pained expression that crossed his face as he leaned against the kitchen counter and crossed his arms petulantly.

"Oh, Lee, I swear to you I didn't tell her. She just figured it out on her own. She's a mother too and she knows all the signs of pregnancy. When she confronted me with it, I could hardly deny it, could I?"

He sighed and lowered his arms. "I guess not. She's very...persistent."

"That she is," Amanda agreed. "I really wanted you to be the first to know, but then, I...I don't know. I was so upset about you not returning my calls that I thought...well, you know what I thought. I was stupid."

"Well, I was pretty stupid in the way I reacted to the news. When I saw that letter, I was so afraid of losing you, of not having you in my life anymore and then when you told me you were carrying my child..." He brushed his fingers lightly across her stomach. "My first thought was that I had to do anything I could to keep you around."

"I'm around now," she replied, a hint of flirting in her voice as she reached for his hand and held it flat against her stomach. " _We're_ around now." Her heart leapt when she saw the way his eyes lit up at the contact.

"That you are," he smiled brightly. He kissed her softly. "I'm glad you are."

"Me too."

"Listen, I should probably get this cleaned up before it sets." He indicated the dishes. "You've had a rough couple of days, so why don't you sit down in the other room and rest a bit and I'll join you in a few minutes."

"I'll be happy to help, you know. I may be pregnant, but I'm not helpless or fragile."

"I know that, but you heard what the doctor said when they released you from the hospital. You need to make sure that you're getting plenty of rest."

"Maybe I should just go home then," she flashed him a salacious grin. "I don't know how much rest I'll actually get if I stay here with you,"

He pulled her into a tight embrace. "Oh, no you don't," he fired back in a warning tone. "You're not going anywhere. I didn't just get my life threatened by your mother for nothing." He kissed her firmly.

Mischief dancing in her eyes, she countered in mock protest, "But I thought you wanted me to rest."

"It's still early yet and there are plenty of hours between now and the morning for you to get some real sleep."

"Good."

"Now, go on and let me get this done. Just this once, don't argue with me, huh? You had a big scare yesterday and I don't want you overdoing it, okay?"

"Okay, okay, just don't think I'm going to let you baby me through this whole pregnancy," she informed him as she left the room. Truth be told, she was actually glad to have a moment to herself as she thought of the bag she'd brought in and made a beeline for the bedroom. She quickly opened it and pulled out the outfit she'd packed for the weekend when she'd believed their cover would be as a couple. She'd hoped that if things had gone well between them that she might have a chance to wear it for him.

She quickly undressed, neatly folding her clothing as she placed each piece in her suitcase and then hurried off to the bathroom to freshen up, lingerie and toiletry bag in hand. She gazed at her reflection in the mirror as she ran a hand across her still flat belly and the thought struck her again of what Lee's reaction would be to her body once her pregnancy developed further. He didn't seem to have any issues now, but since she wasn't quite sure they were a fully committed couple, she couldn't help worrying that he might not find her as attractive once her body was swollen with his child.

 _His child,_ a more reasonable voice in her head sounded. _If he wants the baby, why wouldn't he be excited to see it?_ She was reminded of how she'd told Francine about Joe's obsessive picture-taking and her musing whether Lee would be the same way. He'd seemed genuinely delighted when she'd placed his hand over their unborn child.

"I've got to stop thinking about this," she scolded herself. "One step at a time." She turned her attention back to the task at hand.

Twenty minutes later, once he'd put away the leftover food and finished cleaning up the kitchen, Lee entered the living room to find that Amanda wasn't there. Panic rose in him as he reflected on her teasing threat to go home. Had she really decided to leave? "Amanda?" he called as he walked to the only other room she could be in...his bedroom. His heart sank when she wasn't there either. "Amanda?"

He breathed a sigh of relief when he heard her reply from beyond the closed door of the bathroom, "I'll be out in a second."

"Okay," he called back, his racing heart calming itself down now that he knew she hadn't left. He busied himself by moving to the bed to put her suitcase down on the floor and then turned the covers down on the bed. He'd just sat down and finished removing his shoes when she emerged from the bathroom. "Amanda..." he breathed softly as he drank in her appearance, the satin and lace gown she wore hugging her curves in all the right places.

"Hi," she said shyly. "Is this...is it okay?" She gave a nervous little twirl.

He rose and crossed the room to meet her, sliding his hands down her sides to rest on her hips, brushed a tender kiss to her lips and responded affectionately, "It's perfect. _You're_ perfect." He looked her up and down and asked inquisitively, "Where did this come from?"

"I...um...I had it packed for the weekend. I mean, I know we were supposed to be working, but I-I...you know, I thought we'd be sharing a room and I-" She broke off and blushed furiously at his intense scrutiny of her.

"So, you had a plan to seduce me?" he questioned, half-teasing, half pleased by the idea.

She found herself blushing again and replied, "Well, it's like I said, I wanted us to have another chance to...you know...really enjoy each other."

His expressions softened into one of admiration. "You look beautiful," he told her sincerely. "But I suddenly feel overdressed."

Feeling bolder now that he'd complimented her appearance and seemed pleased by her overture, she responded flirtatiously, "I know just how to take care of that," as she began to work the buttons of his shirt loose one by one.

Lee sighed as her nimble fingers worked on his shirt, occasionally grazing the bare flesh beneath in the process. His sighs turned into a loud groan once she'd pushed it off his shoulders and ran her hands up his chest, thumbing his nipples.

"Mmm...you like that?"

"Mm-hmm," he murmured.

"Good because I've wanted to do that ever since our first undercover assignment."

He brought one of her hands to his lips and kissed her palm, sending shivers up her spine at the tender contact. He then fixed her with a roguish grin. "I _knew_ you had your mind in the gutter that night."

She laughed with him. "Well, it was all your fault, the way you teased me with your open shirt and talking about going to bed."

"I guess we don't have to argue about who gets the bed tonight, do we?"

"No," she shook her head as she took both of his hands in hers and nudged him toward the bed. "We both get the bed tonight." _And hopefully forever,_ she mentally added, but wasn't quite brave enough to voice that thought aloud. Instead, she released his hands and snaked one of her own around his neck to pull him down for a long, sweet kiss.

Lee let out a low groan as their kisses grew more heated, delighted by the sensation of Amanda's lace-covered breasts pressing into his skin. He'd never wanted her quite as much as he did in this moment now that she had agreed to stay with him and had recanted her 'no' on his marriage proposal.

When they broke apart, gasping and breathless, he dipped his head down to lightly nuzzle the skin of her exposed neck and shoulder causing her to shudder in his arms.

Amanda lowered her hands to explore his bare chest again sighing at the contact of his lips on her skin, and then felt his fingers slipping beneath the skinny straps of her gown, pushing it to the floor where it pooled at her feet. He then pulled back to look at her. She trembled a little at the look of and desire on his face as he moved to ease her onto the bed, kissing her fiercely as he lowered himself above her, another low groan escaping him while she moaned back, his touches and kisses setting her on fire.

She found herself unable to form real words any longer as his hands roamed and explored every inch of her body. Her heart was pounding and her pulse racing. This was so very different than their first time together when it had been a quick, frenzied coupling born of fear and desperation. It was as if he were worshipping her with his hands and his mouth. "Oh," she cried out and winced a bit when his teeth closed over a nipple.

He pulled back abruptly with a panicked, "Did I hurt you?"

"No," she assured him with a light pat on the shoulder. "Not really. I...just..." She let out a little sigh. "It's just that my breasts are a little...tender. Just one more fun side effect of pregnancy, especially early on like this."

"Ohhh." He wasn't sure what to do now. "Um...is there...uh...anything else I should know? Should we...should we just...stop?" He sat up and ran a hand through his hair. "I feel kinda' stupid asking, but I-I-" He let out a deep sigh before continuing. "In all my experience, this is all new to me. I've never made love to a pregnant woman before and I...I don't want to hurt you."

"Lee, it's fine." She sat up beside him. "We can still make love. It's perfectly safe, but if you could...just kinda'...I don't know, take it easy on the breasts."

"I can do that," he agreed. "But you promise me you'll tell me if there's anything else, okay?"

"Oh, I will. If there's anything that doesn't feel right, I'll let you know, but really, you have nothing to worry about. I wouldn't have agreed to stay if I didn't know it would be okay." She brushed her lips against his, teasing them with her tongue and urged him back down to the mattress with her so that they were now lying side by side.

He kissed her softly, his hand running down her side to rest on her hip for a moment as he pulled her closer to him. He felt her hand reaching for him as well, grasping his rear and pressing against him as their kisses became more urgent. He rolled her beneath him and began a new exploration of her curves, wanting to take his time to get to know her body and how she responded to him. He wanted nothing more than to please her. He lowered his lips to her chest, taking great care to avoid her sensitive nipples as he ran his tongue down her ribcage.

He paused when he reached her stomach and lightly fingered the faded stretch marks there. "These are from your other babies, aren't they?"

She nodded. "And I'll likely have new ones once this baby really starts getting bigger, but it's all part of the process." Her thoughts flitted again to her worries regarding how he'd feel about her pregnant body.

He surprised her by smiling up at her. "Good." He rocked back onto his knees, astride her and let out a self-deprecating chuckle and added, "I don't know if this is weird or..." He wasn't quite sure how to phrase what he was thinking. He ran a hand across her stomach. "I...uh...I'm kinda' looking forward to that. I mean, being able to see real indications that our child is growing inside you."

She beamed at him as she propped herself up on her elbows. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he confirmed with a nod.

"Oh I don't think that's weird at all. I think that's really very...sweet." She grinned at him and added saucily, "But you know something? You're still overdressed." She sat up and reached for the button of his jeans, flicked it open and then lowered his zipper.

He rose from the bed to shuck his jeans and boxers, stripping off his socks as well. He nodded to where she had laid back down on the bed, still wearing her lacy panties. "Now, you're the one who's overdressed," he teased. "But I intend to rectify that situation right now." He hooked his fingers into the sides of her panties, dragged them down her long legs and tossed them aside.

Amanda thought he'd return to her arms, but instead, he knelt at the foot of the bed and planted warm soft kisses down one leg and up the other, until he finally rested at the apex of her thighs. He paused to inhale the scent of her arousal before he dipped his head down to taste her, something he wished he could have done the first time they'd made love. He was rewarded for his efforts by a gasp of delight coming from her and her fingers sliding through his hair as she held him there.

"Lee..." she breathed softly as he lapped at her with his tongue, sending wave after wave of pleasure through her, her heart once again thudding in her chest, her breathing heavy. "Oh, Lee!" she cried as he flattened his tongue against her swollen nub and slid a finger inside her easily finding that sweet spot within her. The dual sensations overtook her and she screamed out his name as she shattered beneath him, her entire body trembling with the force of her release.

He removed his finger and raised his head to look at her. He couldn't help the smug grin that crossed his face at post-orgasm look of pure bliss on hers. "You like that?" he echoed her words from earlier.

"Oh, yes," she replied, in a half-daze as she held out her arms to him.

He complied with her unspoken request and moved to hover over her, elated when she wrapped her arms around him and began peppering his face and neck with kisses as he eased inside her, a long, low groan emanating from him as he did so. He kissed her firmly and then pulled back to look at her and there it was again, that glowing look he'd seen in her eyes many times before, only this time it was different; this time she didn't look away as she had so many times.

"Please," she urged him as she slid one leg down the length of his and hooked the other one behind his rear to encourage him to keep going.

He kissed her once more before he pulled out and pushed back into her again.

"Lee," she whimpered as she pushed her hips against his.

He shook his head as he grasped her hips tightly with both hands. "No, not this time. I'm going to take my time and make love to you the right way." He rolled them both onto their sides, knowing it would make keeping a slower pace easier and draped her leg over his hip as he pushed into her again and again, building a steady, but slow rhythm, wanting to feel her response to each and every movement. They first time had happened so quickly that he hadn't really gotten to savor it, but now he had the time and he planned to take full advantage of it.

Amanda let out long, low sighs of pleasure as Lee moved inside her, her body conforming to his, feeling at ease with letting him take the lead, the sensations building slowly to a crescendo again until she felt her second climax of the night take her over, leaving her sputtering and gasping just as she felt him exploding within her as he called out her name with his release.

They held each other tightly, their bodies still locked together as they came down from their mutual high and shared soft, sweet kisses. "Oh, Amanda," he whispered as his body relaxed and all the tension of the past couple of days drained away.

She lightly caressed his face. "You know something? I'm really glad you came after me that night after I turned in my resignation to Billy. If you hadn't, we wouldn't have this."

"It's like I told you, Amanda, I couldn't lose you. I still can't."

Her heart soared at his words. It wasn't exactly a declaration of undying love, but it would do for now. "Good. I can't lose you either." She let out a long yawn.

"See?" He teased as he finally pulled out of her and shifted their positions to rest in each other's arms. "I knew you needed some rest."

She nodded. "It's been an exhausting couple of days."

"You know, I was thinking...that fight we had over that stupid chain just before we made love this first time. You know, about you sleeping on your left side?"

"Mm-hmmm," she murmured sleepily. "And you sleeping on your right, like we are right now."

"What I was thinking is how perfect that combination actually is because it means we can both be comfortable and still fall asleep in each other's arms."

"Mm-hmmm."

"So, why shouldn't we spend the rest of our lives together when it's so perfect?" When he heard no response this time, he glanced down at her to find she'd drifted off to sleep against him. He softly kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Goodnight, My Love."


	8. Keep Your Friends Close

**December 21, 1985**

"I'll be home as soon as I can," Lee promised Amanda on the phone as he stretched the phone cord as far as it would reach to get to the closet of his hotel room. "In fact, I'm packing right now so I can get on the road."

"Good," Amanda smiled. "I'll look forward to seeing you."

"And I'm sorry about cutting our last call so short. It's just that I was in the lobby and Francine was hovering and making me crazy so I wanted us to have a little more privacy."

"Oh, I understand," she replied. "She does have that bad habit of hovering like she did when we were in Reston, but you know, it's like I said last weekend, I still think we should tell her what's really going on, then maybe she wouldn't do it so much."

"You're probably right. I just can't stand the thought of that judgmental look I know she's going to give me if I tell her." Lee let out a loud groan of frustration when there was a knock on the door. "Speak of the devil. I can just bet that's her again. Can you hold on a sec?"

"Listen, why don't I just let you go so you can have both hands free to pack and I'll see you when you get home?"

"Yeah, okay." He started to prepare to say goodbye, but then remembered what she'd said at the end of their last phone call. "By the way, I missed you too. I'll see you soon." He had just hung up when another, more forceful knock sounded. "Keep your shirt on!" he grumbled as he walked to the door and flung it open. "What now, Francine?" He turned his back on her and returned to his packing.

"What now?" she repeated coolly. "You're really asking me that after the way you've behaved this weekend, treating me as if I wasn't here when we were supposed to be working together? AND to add insult to injury, you were constantly on the phone with Amanda as if you couldn't possibly solve this case without her input. When did you stop trusting my instincts? You know you and I used to work pretty well together, but now it's like I don't even know who you are anymore. I don't know what your deal with Amanda is, but I'm getting tired of you forgetting I exist because of her."

Lee paused in his packing and whipped around to face her. "What the hell is your problem with Amanda, huh?"

"My problem is not with Amanda, it's with _you_!" she snapped. "Amanda has actually been pretty damn nice to me lately. _You,_ on the other hand..." She poked him hard in the chest with one finger. "You have been treating me like I'm invisible when we're supposed to be friends."

"We _are_ friends, Francine, but there's stuff going on in my life that you just don't understand and I don't have time to discuss it with you at this moment. I have to get home."

"To Amanda?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, to Amanda, if you must know. You know very well that she's been sick. That's why you were on this case with me to begin with, remember? I want to get home to check on her. That's why I've been calling her so much." There was more to it than that, of course. He recalled all too well just how angry Amanda had been with him when he had neglected to call her the previous week and he wasn't about to make that same mistake again. Maybe he had overdone it, but he was unwilling to take the chance of incurring her wrath again when he felt he was finally on the verge of getting her to commit to a real life together.

"Oh, I remember," she replied icily. "I'm just your fallback when your precious Amanda's not available." She let out a frustrated sigh. "I know you, Lee, so I get it. You don't like change. You never have, but with the way Amanda has been so sick lately since that freezer thing, you may just have to get used to having me around more often and that means you're going to have to start treating me as an equal."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?"

"Gee, that was heartfelt," she snorted as she folded her arms across her chest. "You know what? Forget it! I've had enough! I'm just going to tell Billy to find someone else next time you need help." She turned on her heel and stormed out in a huff.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **December 22, 1985**

Amanda cautiously approached Francine's desk in the bullpen with a file folder in hand. "Um...Francine?" she hedged.

The blonde looked up from her computer and gave Amanda a slight smile since she was sure Lee had told her all about their fight by now and didn't want the other woman thinking it was her she was pissed at. "Hi. Welcome back. Glad to see you're feeling better."

Amanda nodded and smiled back. "I really am. I want to thank you for that too. If you hadn't been willing to go with Lee this weekend, I wouldn't have gotten the rest I needed to recover."

"A fat lot of good that did," Francine complained. "I might as well not even have been there at all."

"Oh, I don't know." Amanda fiddled with the file in her hands. "I have Lee's report here and he gave you a lot of credit for your work." She handed it to Francine.

"Hmph." She slammed the file down without even glancing at it. "If he thought I was so great, why didn't he bring it down here himself? Why did he send you instead?"

"He...um...he didn't send me. He's not even here yet. In fact, I haven't even seen him since before you guys left town. I just saw it on his desk - he must have come in late last night after he got back to do it - and brought it down here on my own, not just to turn it in, but to talk to you too. You see, he...um...well, when he called me from the car on his way home last night, he told me about the argument you two had and I wanted to set a few things straight."

"Huh, so he lied to me," she muttered. "When we had that fight, he told me he was going straight to see you when he got back in town."

Amanda nodded. "He didn't lie to you, Francine. As I said, he called me on his drive home and it was going to be so late by the time he got back that I told him I could wait to see him at the office today. But that's not the point and not why I came down here to talk to you."

"Then why did you come down here? To gloat that he's so hung up on you that he's forgotten all about his existing friends?"

"No. No gloating. I wanted to talk to you because I really don't want you two fighting because of me when you've been friends for such a long time. He still thinks of you as his best friend and that's-" A guilty look crossed her face. "I feel like it's my fault that he's been a bit...well...distracted lately."

Francine let out a sigh and confessed, "I don't blame you, Amanda. I blame him."

"Ohhh. I...uh...I guess I can understand that, but that's even more reason you and I should talk. I really want to explain a couple of things to you. There's...um...there's some stuff going on between Lee and me that you don't know about and-"

"Really? You don't say," the blonde replied archly.

"Listen, I know you're upset, but I really want you to know everything and since I know Lee isn't all that great about volunteering information... Is there some place..." She gestured around the room, indicating the bustling bullpen. "Some place more...private that we can talk without being overheard?"

Francine let out a dry chuckle. "If you think there's a single person in this room who doesn't already know about your burgeoning romance with Lee, you are sadly mistaken."

"Francine...there's...uh...there's a lot more than a simple romance involved here. I'd really like to talk to you about it in private...please?"

"Fine." She rose from her seat and gestured across the room. "The conference room is free. We can talk there." Once they were alone in the room with the door safely closed behind them. "So, what's this all about that you needed to get me alone?"

"Well, there's a reason that Lee has been so overly protective of me lately and that I've been so sick and that Billy has been sending you on more jobs with Lee. It's all part of the same reason, really, but it's nothing to do with you or his friendship with you. He still cares about you just as much as he ever did. It's just that because of me, he's got a lot more on his mind right now and I know that's not fair to you, but it's just how it is."

"Oh, I know exactly what's on his mind when it comes to you," the other woman replied scathingly. "Just how long it's going to take to make you another notch on his bedpost. I saw the cozy little setup he had for the two of you last weekend, remember?"

"No, Francine, that's not it."

"You're kidding yourself if you don't think that's what he's after. You're the one woman in this building he can't charm with just a flash of his dimples - Well, besides me, that is - and he sees that as a challenge.."

"You're wrong."

"You don't know that. You don't know him like I do. Come on, Amanda, you can't be _that_ naive. You've seen yourself how he is, he gets what he wants from a woman and moves on. Why do you think he always goes for women who aren't looking for something permanent?"

"I _do_ know that and I also know that he's not moving on from me anytime soon. You're dead wrong if you think it's all about sex. It's not. If it were, he'd have already moved on by now."

"Amanda!" Francine gaped at her in surprise. "So, you've already-"

"Yes," Amanda interrupted. "We have, but it's more than that." She took a deep breath and finally spit out, "Francine, I'm pregnant and Lee's the baby's father."

Francine sank down into one of the vacant chairs with a low whistle. "I'll be damned." She shook her head. "Lee's going to be a daddy."

"Yes, he is," Amanda replied with a slight smile as she sat down next to her.

"God, this explains so much, why the time in the freezer affected you more than it did me, why he was so adamant that you see a doctor..."

"And why he called me so much the last couple of days. You see, when I first learned that I was pregnant, it was when he was off trying to figure out what happened to Eddie." She went on to explain the situation and how she'd been so irate with him for not calling her. "So, he made me a promise after we had that fight that he'd never keep me in the dark again if he had to go on a job without me."

"No wonder he was blaming himself after the freezer thing. I thought it was just because he wasn't there to stop it, but it was more than that. He blamed himself over you getting so sick from it because he got you pregnant."

"Exactly. He feels responsible."

"Well, he is, isn't he?" she replied pointedly.

"Oh, come on, Francine. I was there too. I slept with him without taking any kind of precautions, knowing all too well what can happen. I'm not as naive as you seem to think I am. Of course, I never imagined this would happen after just that one time, but once is all it really takes."

"So, what's he..." She paused and amended her statement. "I mean, what are you two going to do about it?"

"That's between us," Lee chimed in as he entered the room and closed the door behind him. He nodded to Amanda. "I assume you told her everything?"

Amanda nodded. "Well, not everything, but enough."

"Listen, Amanda, do you mind giving me a minute with Francine?"

"Sure. I'll just see you back upstairs in a bit." She rose from her seat, reached out to give his hand a gentle squeeze and left them alone.

"So..." Lee began hesitantly. "Now you know."

"Yeah. The question is, why didn't you tell me yourself? Why did I have to hear it from Amanda?"

"I wanted to tell you, but I-" He let out a deep sigh and sank wearily into the chair Amanda had just vacated. "I was still trying to process everything. I mean, this...this is huge for me. I'm going to be a father." He couldn't help smiling slightly at that thought.

"So...you're happy about this?"

"Oh yeah. I was stunned at first," he admitted. "But I always thought someday I'd have a family of my own when I met the right woman."

"And Amanda's this 'right woman?'"

"She really is. It's like I told her, I couldn't wish for a better mother for my kid. You've seen how she is with her boys, how good a mom she is."

"True, but how do you feel about her? I mean, as a person, not as just a human incubator for your kid?"

"Francine, do you honestly think I'd have even taken a chance of getting her pregnant if I didn't see her as someone I could have a future with? Granted, I didn't plan for this, neither of us did. When we-" He broke off and flushed slightly. "When this baby was conceived, I admit that I wasn't thinking about the potential consequences of having unprotected sex; I was only thinking about how much I wanted to be with her. But I wouldn't change it. Amanda, this baby, her boys, they mean everything to me."

"Her boys?" She looked at him in surprise. "You've gotten to know her boys?"

He nodded. "Until this weekend, I've been having dinner at her house every night to get to know her mom and her kids. I want to be a real part of the family and not just because of the new baby, but because I-"

"You're in love with her," she acknowledged, a statement, not a question.

"Yeah. And you know, this case with Tina and her husband really got me thinking. If they can make it work, why can't we? He had an even worse rep than I've got, but he was ready to settle down and she accepted that his past was just that. Amanda is like that with me and it doesn't bother her that I've got a colorful history."

"Well, she is a pretty understanding person," Francine acknowledged. "Why else would she put up with all the crap I give her and yet still try to be my friend?"

"Speaking of friendship," he paused and stammered awkwardly, "I...uh...I owe you an apology for shutting you out. I never meant to hurt you or to cut you out of my life."

"No, I understand. You were going through something huge and you were right, I didn't get it. Plus, I was being...well, to use Amanda's word...a witch."

Lee laughed. "When did Amanda call you a witch?"

"Oh, that was just another fun thing that happened when we were locked in that freezer together." She related the whole conversation to him.

"Well, that explains why she bought you those chocolates."

"Yeah, and this whole thing makes part of that conversation make so much more sense since she spent a chunk of time mumbling about her kids and being pregnant, but I thought it was just because she was worried about not getting home to them."

"It's also why I was so worried about getting her checked out. I didn't know how the freezing temperature or the lack of oxygen might have affected her or our baby."

"You can tell me it's none of my damn business and I'll respect that, but seriously, I want to know what you're going to do about all this? I know you said you want to be a real part of her family, but does that mean you're going to marry her?"

He grinned and pulled out a velvet-covered box from his pocket. "Well, she's already turned me down once, but I'm hoping this will get her to change her mind." He handed it to her.

"Oh my," she gasped as she gazed at the ring. "That just might do the trick, but only if you also tell her how you feel about her. I get the sense that she doesn't really know." She closed the box and handed it back to him.

"Yeah, I know," he nodded as he put the ring away. "I've been pretty stupid on that front, but I plan to rectify that as soon as possible."


	9. A Decent Proposal

**December 22, 10:00PM**

"Lee, what brings you by this late?" Dotty questioned. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm delighted to see you, but I can't help wondering-I mean, you missed dinner and I'm sure the boys would have loved to see you again."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about missing dinner the last couple of nights. I was out of town for work."

"Oh, yes, I know...with another woman," Dotty replied pointedly.

"It wasn't like that," Lee explained. "It was just for work."

"I seem to recall another 'work' trip that resulted in you getting my daughter pregnant."

He flushed slightly. "Yeah, I know, but this really was just about work and couldn't be helped."

She gave him a cool look, not quite ready to let him off the hook for his recent and sudden absence from the family dinner table. "How can I be sure that Amanda isn't just signing up for more of the heartache she endured with Joe if you can also just walk away from your family obligations at a moment's notice?"

Lee let out a frustrated sigh at feeling he was being compared to Joe again and tried to explain, "Listen, you know that when I called before I left, I wanted Amanda to go with me, but she was too sick. You should also recall that I called her constantly while I was away. Did Joe ever do that?"

"Yes, I suppose you did and no, Joe never called that much. But last time you were away, you didn't call at all and that was when Amanda really needed you, you know. I mean, you should have seen the poor girl. She was absolutely-"

"And I learned my lesson on that front, believe me," he interrupted with before she could get started on a babblefest. Feeling a change of topic was needed, he sputtered, "I...um...I'm sorry to come by so late, but I saw the lights on and I was hoping Amanda was still up. I really need to see her."

Dotty nodded. "Well, she just went up to her room right before you got here, but she should still be awake." She opened the door to allow him entrance and he quickly made a beeline for the stairs.

She shook her head as she watched him taking the stairs two at a time and questioned to herself, "Why does it not surprise me that he doesn't have be told which room is hers?"

Lee lightly rapped on Amanda's door and when he heard a soft, "Come in," in response, he entered the room and closed the door behind him just as she was sitting up in bed and turning on the lamp.

"Hi," he smiled brightly at her.

"Hi," she replied, a look of surprise on her face. "Is something going on at the office? Do you need me?"

"Yes, Amanda, I need you, but not for work," he explained as he sat on the bed beside her. "I have needed you for a very long time. More than that, I love you. I've loved you for so long that I can't even remember when I didn't. And I can't be like Joe, making deals with you to spend time with my kid or being a part-time father. More importantly, I can't be in a part-time relationship with you. I want you, I want the baby, the boys, your mother, the house including the leaky roof, the dishwasher that needs a good kick from time to time, the station wagon you once tried to drive through a swamp and whatever else might go along with it."

"Just remember that you said that the first time one of the boys spills something in your "Vette," she teased, giggling when his eyes widened.

He shook his head and replied, "You know what? It doesn't matter. I'll take that too. I just...I love you and I want us to be together and for all of us to be real family."

The jesting smirk faded at the seriousness of his tone, "Lee, I...I don't know what to say except that I love you too." She smiled warmly at him, her heart turning somersaults in her chest at hearing those words from him.

He beamed as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring box, "Then will you marry me?"

"Oh my gosh!" She gushed as she gazed at the antique ring. "It's beautiful."

"It was my mother's," he explained to her. "If nothing else, that should show you how serious I am about wanting to be your husband. I wouldn't give this ring to anyone I didn't truly love." When she continued just silently gazing at the ring, he began to panic and pleaded, "Amanda, please say something...say you'll marry me."

"Oh, yes." She kissed him firmly. "Yes, I'll marry you. I'm so sorry. I thought I said yes already. I was just so...so...blown away when I saw this ring that I-" She shook her head. "I'm really very touched by the thought of you giving me your mother's ring, I-" She blinked back tears that had formed in her eyes. "It's such a lovely thought."

"I'm glad you like it," he replied affectionately as he took the ring from the box and slipped it on her finger and held her hand admiring it for a moment. "It looks perfect there. That's why I was a bit late getting to the office today when you were talking to Francine. I was having it resized for you. I wanted you to have it before Christmas."

"It's the perfect Christmas present. Not the ring, I mean, but you...you and me." They shared a long, lingering kiss and when it ended, she began anew, "I don't want you to think that I'm complaining because I'm not, but what made you think to do this and to finally admit how you felt about me?"

"Honestly, it was Francine, or more specifically, that trip with Francine. It really hit me during that trip just how much I hate being away from you and I don't like that feeling. I wanna' be with you all the time. Granted, I felt bad that you've been sick, but I admit part of that was selfish too because I wanted you there with me too, not her."

"I understand completely. I think I felt worse about her being with you instead of me than I actually felt from being sick. I missed you so much and I know it sounds stupid because it was only two days, but I couldn't stand it. I got so used to you being here every night this past week and when you weren't I-I just wanted you home with me."

"I wanted to _be_ home with you," he echoed her sentiment. "I know I probably shouldn't have come here so late, but since I had to work late to make up for going in later than normal, I-" He broke off as he tried to get his thoughts together. "I just had to see you to tell you that I love you and I couldn't wait any longer to let you know that I really want to marry you because I want to be with you and not just because we're having a baby."

"I understand," she replied softly. "And I want you to understand that when I said no, it was never about not wanting to marry you. I just...I just I needed to know that...well, I think you get it now."

"I really do, but I...uh...I should go. I know you're back at work now, but you've been sick and you need your rest."

She reached for his hand to keep him there. "No, Lee...stay. You've still got that bag in your car, don't you?"

"Yeah, sure." He shrugged. "Why?"

"I think you should go get it so you can stay here tonight."

"But what about your family? Won't they ask questions about why I'm here in the morning?"

"Well, you know my mother won't since she's been dropping not-so-subtle hints about us getting married every night at dinner. As for the boys, well...they...um...they already know about the baby."

"I thought we were going to tell them together," he protested. "How could you tell them without me?"

"I didn't," she explained. "Or at least, I didn't mean to. When Joe dropped this boys off this afternoon after his weekend with them, he asked me if I was ready to tell him what was going on between us since Phillip and Jamie had spent so much time talking about you hanging around while he had them at his place."

"Ohhh...so, you told him?"

"You knew I was going to. You heard me promising to tell him that first night I told you. The trouble is that I didn't realize the boys had come back downstairs at just the wrong moment and overheard us, so then I had to explain it to them."

"So, how did they take it? Do they hate me now?" He cringed at that thought since he'd spent five nights in a row having dinner with the family and answering all the pointed questions they'd thrown at him.

"Well, just like Mother, the first thing they wanted to know was when you were going to marry me," she laughed

"As soon as damn possible," he replied firmly.

Amanda nodded and placed a hand on her stomach. "Yeah, the sooner the better, before this baby of ours starts really making his or her presence known and we have to explain it to the Agency too."

"Oh, God," Lee moaned. "What are we going to do there? They're going to think that I only married you because I got you pregnant."

"Or that I got pregnant on purpose to trap you," she pointed out. "You may not have done the math on my Joe stuff, but other people have. I've heard snippets of them talking about it when they thought I couldn't hear them."

"So...what do we do?"

"Well, you know the office Christmas party is tomorrow. Why don't we just announce our engagement then and leave the baby stuff out of it?"

"Not a bad idea, but what's going to happen when you start popping out right after our wedding?"

"We'll deal with it then, I guess." She gave him a curious look. "But do you really care what they think? You never have before when they've been talking about your reputation."

"I know, Amanda, but it's _your_ reputation I'm worried about. You're so good to everyone and you have this wholesome mom reputation and-"

Amanda laughed and interrupted, "Oh, no, I don't. Not since Joe came back to town and all our past stuff was really out there in the open. I mean, it's always been there in my background information, but no one really paid attention to it until he became part of an Agency investigation."

"Including me," he confessed. "I just never thought much about it. I knew you'd been married and had two kids, but he was just this faceless guy who was never around and I-" He blew out a long breath. "I admit that when he first came back, I panicked, especially after seeing the four of you together in the gym looking...looking like a real family."

"Oh, speaking of which, that was another thing that had to be explained to the boys this afternoon...the gym. Since it's only been a couple of weeks, Jamie recognized you as the man who saved his life that day."

"Shit," he swore, panic rising within him again.

"No, it's okay. Joe fielded that like a pro. Remember, he was here the other night when I told you I was pregnant and Mother had been pumping him for information about you. She's known ever since Joe's case was settled that he'd already met you, but she was a...a little hurt that she hadn't." When he gave her a hurt look, she quickly added, "But that's my fault for never inviting you in and always keeping you outside. The point is, that Joe just jumped in and reminded him of what he'd said that night and that you were there to help out."

"But they don't know about what we really do for a living like your mother does?"

"I don't think Phillip did...not yet anyway, but it wouldn't take much for him to figure it out, especially since Jamie did. He's so smart. He didn't say anything, but I could see it in that wide-eyed expression of his."

"But maybe it's not such a bad idea to tell them something," he suggested. "Maybe not the whole truth, but at least enough that they understand that they can't tell people we work for the government."

"Lee, we live in a government town. Tons of kids have parents working for the government in one form or another. I hear it all the time at the PTA, but maybe we could use what happened in the gym as an example to them of what could happen if the _wrong_ people know what we do; make sure they understand that it's IFF they should talk about if anyone asks."

"And not to talk to strangers," he added helpfully.

"Pfft." She rolled her eyes. "Lee, they've known that ever since they were old enough to be out on their own without me by their side every second."

"Right." he replied, feeling stupid again. "I have a lot to learn, don't I? I'm just going to keep screwing up, huh?"

"Oh, I don't know." She glanced down at the ring she now wore. "I think you're learning pretty fast." She held up her hand to display the ring. "This here proves that, not that I needed the ring. All I needed was to know you wanted me and not just the baby."

"Amanda, I always did want you. God, I wanted so badly to tell you that night in the swamp how I felt about you, but then I kept thinking about how you almost did and then backed off..." He let out a sigh. "So, I...uh...I thought maybe you weren't ready to hear it."

"Even after we made love that night?"

"Well, that...uh...something you said the next day did that too. You remember you made that smartass crack about showing a girl a good time?"

"Ohhh, that."

"Yeah, that. I thought you were saying maybe that you were already regretting it and to top it off, once we were alone in the hall, you began this 'about last night' stuff in this big serious tone, so I figured it was best to back off and just go back to trying to romance you slowly like I had been, but then work kept getting in the way and then Joe came back and then...the next thing I knew, you'd resigned and-"

"Well, Lee, I didn't mean that 'good time' stuff the way you took it. I...uh...I was trying to let you know that I was open to that kind of thing again, but since we were in the bullpen surrounded by people, I couldn't exactly be obvious about it and say, 'hey, Lee, I really enjoyed the sex we had last night and want to do it again the right way,' could I? That's why when we were finally alone, I started with the 'about last night' stuff, but then you made me so angry with your talk about it being just all about getting warm. I thought that _you_ regretted it, so I didn't push it any further. After I said, 'not exactly,' I really thought you'd follow me wanting to know what I meant by that and when you didn't, I...well, I figured it was best to back off and let you take things at your own pace since I know how hard it is for you to open up."

He shook his head. "We're both stupid. All this time, we could have really been together if we hadn't kept misunderstanding each other."

She linked her fingers with his and smiled. "Well we're together now, so that's something."

"There's just one more thing that doesn't make sense to me. You told me that your mother figured out that you were pregnant on her own because she's a mom too, right?"

"That's right," she confirmed.

"Well, I was thinking...you've already got two kids yourself, so that must mean..." He paused, not quite sure how to phrase what he was thinking without it sounding like an accusation. He didn't want to blow it again now that they were finally on the same page.

"I'm listening," she probed.

"Since you've been pregnant twice before, how could you not have suspected you were pregnant before you even got it confirmed by the doctor?"

"Oh, I did," she informed him. "I started to suspect right around Thanksgiving when I was doing all my normal cooking and I started to smell everything more intensely...like last weekend with your lasagna. Plus, I was late, but I wasn't thinking so much about that because with all the intense situations we end up in, it's not uncommon these days for my period to show up late once the adrenaline gets pumping. It may sound stupid, but it was really the food thing that triggered the idea in my head before anything else."

"So, why didn't you share your suspicions with me? I could've been there with you when you went to the doctor."

"I wanted to, but it took time to schedule a doctor's appointment and I had Jamie's tenth birthday party to deal with after that, and then you were so weird when Joe came back just a few days later, especially when you started grilling me for all this information on my past with him and treating it like it was just another day on the job, that I-" She hung her head. "I thought it might really set you off if you knew what I was thinking so I decided rather than get you in a panic, it was best to wait until I knew for sure. I didn't want to get you all worked up if it turned out to be nothing."

"But it didn't turn out to be nothing."

"I know. You were right when you said we kept misunderstanding each other. That was one time that I really misunderstood you and I should have told you what I was thinking, but I was afraid. We'd been getting so close and then Joe came back and ruined everything."

He shot her an inquisitive look. "So, you're not as happy about him being back in town as you pretended to be?"

"Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm happy he's around to spend more time with the boys, but it made things really strange between you and me. When you showed up at Dooley's that night-"

"So, you did see me there," he interjected in a 'AHA' tone.

"Of course, I saw you there. I made direct eye contact with you and smiled at you, didn't I?"

"I...uh...I wasn't quite sure that was meant for me. I was hoping it was, but you were dancing with your ex, so I-"

"That was just...I don't know...kind of a farewell dance. One last hurrah to really say goodbye to our past together. He knew that I only had eyes for you. You weren't the only one who caught me looking at you, you know. The difference is that he actually said what was on his mind and asked me about it."

"Like I said, I'm stupid when it comes to you."

"No, you're not. Not anymore." She softly brushed her lips against his. "Now, go on. Go get your bag so you can get into this bed with me where you belong."


	10. Mothers Know Best

Lee crept down the stairs as quietly as he could in the hopes of avoiding another lecture or question-and-answer session from his future mother-in-law. While Amanda had assured him that Dotty would have no issues with him spending the night, he wasn't about to take that chance. Just as he reached the front door, he shook his head as he heard her sarcastically call out, "Goodnight, Lee!" from the direction of the den.

"Humph!" Dotty snorted as she put down her book and rose from the sofa to lock the door behind him. "The man shows up at ten o'clock at night and insists on seeing Amanda, yet he can't be bothered to say goodbye before he leaves," she complained all the way to the door. "Honestly! What is wrong with men?"

Lee smiled happily as he sauntered back up the front walk, his suitcase in hand, but his smile soon faded as he realized the door was locked. What to do? Knock and have to deal with Dotty again, take another chance with the trellis or use his spy skills to pick the lock? _Do you really want to go through another interrogation?_ an inner voice questioned. _Or risk busting your ass like you did the last time you climbed up the trellis?_ It would be even worse carrying a suitcase, he mused. "Lock pick, it is," he decided with a nod. He let out a sigh as he set his bag down and dug his lock-pick kit out of his pocket, chuckling softly as he remember Amanda's words to him about a scout always being prepared when they were stuck in the swamp.

He knelt to begin working on the front door and had just about gotten it unlocked when the door was swung violently open from the inside. He looked up to see Dotty staring down at him with a half-amused, half-annoyed look on her face. "Did you forget something, Lee?" she questioned sweetly.

He hastily stowed the lock pick away and rose to his full height, hoping that would give him a bit of an advantage, but at seeing her stern look clearly indicating that she was waiting for an answer, he stammered, "I-I-" He blew out a long breath and tried again. "Uh...that is, Amanda...she...uh...she invited me to stay...I mean, if that's okay with you and I was just-" He lamely indicated the suitcase on the porch.

Dotty beamed and then scolded, "You know, you could have just said something before you went outside. If I'd known you were coming back in, I would have never locked you out." She stepped aside to allow him back in and as she walked back toward the den, she added, "Of course, you also could have knocked."

"I should have," he nodded as he closed the door and was just stepping up to the landing and about to head upstairs to escape when she turned back to face him with a look he couldn't quite place. He shuffled his feet nervously until her face broke out into a teasing grin.

"I suppose it's at least better than you trying to climb up the trellis the way you did a few months ago."

Lee gaped at her in surprise. "You knew about that too?" He was constantly being stunned by the things she knew about him when he'd always believed she'd been completely oblivious to his existence aside from the occasional phone call in which he hadn't even used his real name. Just in the last week or so, he'd learned that she knew what his real occupation was, that he was the cause of her trampled flower garden; she'd even known before he did that Amanda was carrying his child and now this. What else did she know about him that he wasn't aware of?

She nodded. "I heard the noise when you fell," she explained.

He couldn't help the laughter that gurgled forth despite the tenseness of the situation. "I tore the hell out of my pants that night too."

"It serves you right for sneaking in and out of my daughter's room like some kind of shady cat burglar instead of coming to the front door like a normal date should," she teased.

"I came to the front door just now and you locked me out," he reminded her with a grin.

"Because you didn't bother to tell me you were coming back in," she countered. "I was only locking up for the night. I'm thinking, though, if this is going to become a regular habit, we should get an extra key made for you so you don't feel as if you have to sneak in and out and I think we can both agree that we definitely don't want you climbing the trellis again. You gave me such a fright that time. My room is right next to Amanda's, you know. And Buck next-door said he saw you too - not that he knew it was you - he just said he saw a man climbing out Amanda's window. I simply put two and two together. As for Buck, I still don't know if he knows it was you, but I think him seeing you that night might have had something to do with the way he was going on and on about how Amanda might have just run off that other night when you two were stuck in the swamp. I can only imagine what else that man might be thinking about you and Amanda, but I suppose it wasn't all bad if I'm going to get a new grandchild out of that strange time."

"No," he agreed with a giddy smile. "Not bad at all. I'm going to be a dad."

"But listen to me going on and on when you're probably anxious to get upstairs to Amanda since you worked so hard to try to sneak back into the house. Of course, there'd be no sneaking at all if the two of you were to get married. I mean, you did say you were working on that, didn't you?"

"Uh...I...uh...actually, now that you mention it, that's why I wanted to see Amanda tonight. The time we just spent apart made me realize how much I hate being away from her and I came here to ask her to marry me...the right way, this time."

"Ohhh!" Dotty squealed.

"I know that I probably should have talked to you about it first...you know, the whole 'asking for your daughter's hand' routine, but I just...I just couldn't wait any longer."

"Now, why should you feel the need to ask for her hand when you already know that you have my blessing?" she asked and then with a sly grin, added, "After all, you've already had everything else."

"I-" Lee blushed furiously at her comment and couldn't think of a thing to say in response that wouldn't make the situation worse. It wasn't as if she were wrong.

She laughed lightly at his embarrassment, but then in a more serious tone, told him, "The point is that you don't need my approval. You already have it. Anyone that can make my daughter smile the way you do is okay in my book. It's really Phillip and Jamie you have to get past before you marry their mother."

"But I thought- Uh...Amanda said that the boys were asking when I was going to marry her?"

Dotty shook her head and corrected, "Not when, _if_ you were going to marry her and I'm not sure they were entirely happy about the idea, especially now that they know you're already sleeping with her. Now, Jamie, he's thrilled about the idea of being a big brother, but not so thrilled about having a new stepdad and Phillip's just the opposite. He wants you as a stepdad, but is not at all thrilled about the new baby since he already shares a room with his little brother and let's face it, this house just isn't that big for a larger family and I really think-"

"Mother," Amanda gently scolded as she descended the stairs. "We'll be happy to listen to what you think...tomorrow, but it's getting late and some of us have to work in the morning."

"Oh my, what a beautiful ring," Dotty gushed as her keen eyes spotted it immediately. "You have excellent taste, Lee."

"Well, I...uh...I can't take credit for picking it out. That was the ring my father bought for my mother and I-" He shrugged, not quite sure how to put his thoughts into words in front of Dotty.

"Well, then _he_ had excellent taste," she corrected herself and gushed, "My, what a romantic gesture, giving Amanda your mother's ring. So sweet and-"

"Yes, it was really romantic, Mother." Amanda cut her mother off. She smiled at Lee and reached for his hand to nudge him up the stairs. "But we really should be going to bed. I promise, I will tell you all about Lee's proposal tomorrow, okay?" Without another word, she tugged forcefully on her fiancé's hand to lead him back to her room.

"While you were downstairs, I cleaned out a drawer for you and a little bit of closet space," Amanda explained as they entered the room and closed the door behind them. She indicated the open drawer of the dresser. "It's not much, but I was thinking that we'd do a better job of it once we set a wedding date and get closer to you officially moving in."

"We-ell," he began hesitantly as he began to unpack.

"What is it?" she asked as she slipped into bed.

"Your mother just pointed out how small this house is for a growing family and I can't help wondering where we're going to put the baby when the boys are already sharing a room."

Amand nodded in understanding. "We still have a lot of time to figure that out, but you're right...we're going to have to shop for a bigger house."

"Which brings me to another concern," he continued as he closed the drawer and stripped off his suit jacket and tie. "The boys. This is going to be a lot of change for them all at once with a new baby, a new stepdad and a new house. Are you sure they can handle it?"

"Of course, they can," Amanda replied confidently. "They adjusted when Joe and I got divorced, so they should have no problem adjusting to this too, just like you did when your uncle moved you around all the time. It may take time, but I have the utmost faith in them."

"But that was different for them then. Joe wasn't around much anyway, so I don't see that they really had a whole lot to adjust to."

She let out a sigh. "I know it seems that way from your perspective, but it really was hard on all of us...including Joe."

"Well, I'd never run out on you the way he did," Lee argued, his future mother-in-law's words echoing in his mind.

"I don't really look at it as him running out on me. We just...we wanted different things out of life. That's why when you said what you did tonight about wanting the whole package, leaky roof and all...that's why I said yes to you. I needed to know not only that you really wanted to marry me for me, but that you were ready to handle it all. After what happened with Joe, I need someone I can count on and while I've always known I could count on you in the field, I had to know I could depend on you for...well...everything."

"You can. I promise."

"I know I can," she replied with a loving smile. As she watched him getting undressed, her smile changed to one of appreciation while she admired his nearly-nude form.

Catching her intense scrutiny of him, he questioned, "What?"

She grinned flirtatiously. "Just admiring the view." She gave a slight nod to him standing before her now stripped down to only his boxers, then to the pajamas he'd laid atop the dresser. "Maybe you could...skip the PJs? I was thinking we could...I don't know...celebrate our engagement?" she hinted, her grin widening.

Lee frowned slightly as Dotty's words came back to haunt him. "Do you...do you think that's a good idea with your mother and the boys in the house, especially with your mother right in the next room?"

Seeing his hesitation, she climbed out of bed and approached him. "Lee..." she breathed softly as she ran her hands up his bare chest to rest on his shoulders. "You said you wanted everything, right?" When he nodded, she went on, "Well, this is part of that everything."

"I know, but-"

"But what? The boys are sound asleep down the hall, the door is locked and as for Mother...well, if you're worried about her, we can just be really quiet like we had to be that first time in the swamp so our enemies wouldn't find us."

"But this is different," he protested. He couldn't help reflecting on Dotty's warning to him about the boys and thinking that the boys just might be an enemy to him if they were really that upset about Amanda's pregnancy and him wanting to marry her.

"Yes, it is," she replied as she took his hands and led him to the bed. "It's better. We're safe and have a nice warm bed to spend the night in instead of the cold, hard ground. We're engaged now and we both really know how we feel about each other."

"But what if-"

She cut him off with a firm kiss and when he didn't respond, she dropped her hands to her side in frustration. "What if what? I'm pregnant, Lee, and my family already knows it, so what's the worst that could happen? It's not as if we're going to be making love right in front of them. We may not be alone in the house, but we're alone in this room with the door locked. What did you think was going to happen when you asked me to marry you? You had to know this would come up. Did you just think we'd never make love again because there are other people in the house?"

"Well, I have always heard that your sex life goes to hell after marriage and kids," he quipped in an attempt to calm his frazzled nerves.

She laughed softly. "If that were completely true, I would only have one child, not two," she pointed out as she reached for him, this time, sliding her hands to his bottom and giving it a tug to urge him closer. She lightly nuzzled the tender skin just below his ear.

"Mmm...you do make a convincing argument," he sighed and slid his hands to her waist. He softly brushed his lips against hers and lightly fingered the cotton gown she wore. "You know, I remember this nightgown."

"It's not exactly the sexy one I wore for you last weekend," she admitted.

"It's not intended to be, I know, but I still find it just as sexy."

"How's that?" she looked at him curiously.

He lowered his lips to her neck and murmured into her ear. "It's the one you were wearing the night I climbed up your trellis. You have no idea the dirty little thoughts that were running through my mind that night." He moved his hands to her bottom and pulled her hips flush with his. "How badly I wanted to kiss you..." He kissed her again. "And touch you..." He shifted his hands up under her gown. "And yank this gown over your head." He yanked on the hem of her nightgown and she raised her arms to allow him to pull it from her body. "Especially since you were sort of involved with that Chamberlain guy. You wanna' talk about acting like a caveman - I wanted to club the guy senseless to let him know you were mine."

"Were you gonna' drag me off by my hair too?" she teased.

"If I had to," he replied honestly as he ran a hand through her hair.

"I do seem to remember you being just a little bit jealous...and a few weeks ago when Joe came back."

"Not anymore," he crooned in her ear as his hands wandered. "Not now that I know for sure that you're mine."

"Lee...I really _am_ yours," she softly breathed as explored her exposed skin. "I love you."

"And I love you," he responded as he lowered her to the bed, his desire for her finally overcoming his fears.


	11. Bogged Down

Lee awoke to a strange sound and light partially seeping into the bedroom. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to shut it out. For a moment, he was a bit disoriented when it occurred to him that the light was coming from the wrong side of the room, but then he smiled slightly as he remembered the events of the prior night. He rolled over and reached for Amanda, his eyes snapping open when he realized that she wasn't there beside him. That's when his half-awake brain registered that both the light and the sound that had awakened him was coming from the adjoining bathroom and that the sound he was hearing wasn't a pleasant one. He bolted out of bed and hurried to the smaller room to see his fiancée' hunched over the toilet. He knelt by her side, smoothing her hair away from her face with one hand while he rubbed her back with the other.

"Ugh," Amanda sighed as her retching subsided and she leaned against him for comfort.

"Are you okay?" he questioned in concern.

She nodded weakly. "Just need a second. It's been over a decade since I've done this."

"It's my fault that you're sick," he sighed guiltily as he held her and let her lean on him for support.

She shook her head adamantly. "No, it's not. First, I'm not sick...not really."

"No? You look sick to me."

She rose unsteadily to her feet, but then thought better of it when she faltered slightly. "See?" he added in a slightly gloating tone.

Amanda slammed the lid of the toilet down, took a seat on it and stared at him. "Lee, I'm fine. I promise. I told you, I just need a minute. This is one of the things I was trying to get you to understand; this is just a normal part of pregnancy. It's not a fun part, but it will pass with time. Second, this is _not your_ fault so you need to stop feeling guilty about it."

"Who said I feel guilty?" he shrugged.

"The look on your face just now did, but what I'm trying to say is that there's no need for that...at all. We both made this happen. I was a part of it too, remember? It's like I was telling Francine when I gave her the news; I made the choice to have unprotected sex with you in the swamp that night without really thinking about the potential consequences. In fact, I practically begged for you, so this is equally my fault. If anything, it's more my fault than yours because I'm the one who already has two children. I knew what could happen even if I wasn't consciously thinking about it in the moment."

He got to his feet and argued, "Well, come on, Amanda, I may not have kids, but I do know how babies are made, so it's not _more_ your fault than mine. I'd say you were right when you said we're equal parts to blame."

The feeling of queasiness lessened for the moment, Amanda finally stood, made her way to the sink and reached for her toothbrush to get the foul taste out of her mouth. "Why does it have to be about blame anyway? We're both happy about this baby, right?"

"That we are." He smiled as he slipped his arms around her waist, resting his hands on her stomach. "I guess...I guess I just feel bad that our little Swamp Thing here is making you hurl your guts up."

She paused and spit out a mouthful of toothpaste as she nearly choked on a laugh. "Swamp Thing? Is that what we're calling this baby now?"

He shrugged. "It kinda' fits, doesn't it? After all..." He shot her a mischievous grin and lightly brushed his lips down her neck and then met her eyes in the mirror. "It was our swamp _thing_ that led to this."

"Well, since we do have the Agency party today, that actually might be a good code word to use around people that we don't want knowing about it just yet."

"See?" He shot her a gloating grin. When she finished brushing her teeth and turned in his arms to face him, he turned more serious. "Are you sure you're okay? If you're feeling that bad, maybe you should stay home today. I'm sure Billy would understand since he's got kids of his own."

"I'm not feeling that bad, Sweetheart." She reached up to caress his cheek to reassure him. "Promise." She kissed him softly. "If I were, I would tell you. Besides, I already told you that I'm not going to let you baby me through this pregnancy." She paused for a beat and then with a teasing smirk, asked, "Are you sure this isn't just your way of trying to get out of going to the party or maybe...I don't know...are you worried about announcing our engagement to everyone at work?"

He shook his head firmly. "No. I'm actually excited about going to an office Christmas party for the first time in years and I can't wait to tell everyone that you agreed to be my wife."

"Good. I'd hate to think that I baked all those cookies for nothing," she lightly teased, but then her face took on a more sobered look. "But first, we have to make the announcement downstairs. Mother may already know, but the boys don't, so I should..." She gestured to the shower.

"Oh, right. You like to shower in the morning." He remembered all too well her long-winded ramble about the bathroom during the Marvin's case and how angry she'd been with him once she'd learned they wouldn't be sharing a room. With a flirtatious grin, he added, "You know...I do too."

"Oh, no. Not today," she argued. "I've got to make sure the boys get their breakfast and get them off to school and as pleasant as it may be, if I let you distract me from my morning routine, that might never happen."

"But it's still early," he protested with a gesture to the window. "Look, the sun hasn't even come up yet."

"I know, but it's already 5:30 and the boys start school at 7:50, so I usually make sure they're up by 6 so they can get breakfast before school."

"Ahhh..." he acknowledged with an air of disappointment in his tone.

She planted a quick kiss on his lips and promised, "Another time for sure. Right now though, I think I should shower first so I can kinda'...I don't know...give them a heads up that you're here before you go downstairs."

"Damn you and your logic," he grumbled in mock-irritation as he kissed her once more and then let out a sigh. "But you're right. The boys might take the news better coming from you."

"Or maybe I could just give them a warning that you're here and then once you're done with your shower, we could tell them together," she suggested. "If we present a united front, they might take it better."

He nodded in agreement, willing to do whatever it took to keep her happy, but still his brow furrowed in worry as Dotty's warning to him about the boys' reaction to their mother's pregnancy reverberated through his mind. "Yeah, you know your boys better than I do, so you're probably right." He gestured to the bathroom. "So, I...uh...I guess you should get your shower started so we can get this show on the road." While he'd tried to sound confident about talking to his future stepsons, he wasn't at all sure that he'd be able to handle it. He was already learning how ill-prepared he was to adapt to it just in hearing Amanda talk about her morning routine. While he wanted nothing more than to become a permanent part of her family life and was thrilled that she'd finally accepted his marriage proposal, he couldn't help fearing the worst.

While she hurried off to the shower, he sank down onto the bed and couldn't help thinking of just how much had happened in such a short time, all beginning with the shock he'd received upon returning from his trip to Reston.

 **December 12, 1985**

 _Billy nodded his approval for Lee to continue investigating what Eddie had been up to. "Okay, but you'll need backup._

 _Francine walked toward them with a glance first to Billy and then Lee. Billy looks at Lee and smiled that knowing smile he did when he knew something his agents didn't._

 _Lee smiled back and replied, "I've got just the person," as he scooted around Francine with an "Excuse me."_

 _Billy chimed in, "Lee, wait," his smile soon fading just as Francine piped up in a way-too-gleeful tone, "If you mean Amanda, that won't be possible, but you know, Lee, I'll be happy to help with this one. I mean, it's been forever since we've really worked a case together and what with Amanda quitting and all, you do need someone-"_

 _"What?" Lee whirled around to gape at Francine. "What do you mean, 'with Amanda quitting and all?'"_

 _Francine walked around to Billy's desk and picked up an envelope. "Read it for yourself," she crowed. "She turned in her resignation yesterday."_

 _Lee took the proffered letter and sank wearily down into a chair. As he read, he surprise turned into annoyance, then anger. "What the hell?" he growled as he began reading it for a second time. Once finished with his second read-through, he flipped it over in the hopes that there was more; some indication of what was really going on and why she'd have left The Agency so suddenly. Her reference to 'family issues' told him absolutely nothing._

 _"That's kind of what we thought," Francine nodded to Billy. "Of course, with her ex being back and spending a lot of time at her house these days, the first thing that jumped to my mind was that they'd reconciled and she was ready to go back to being just a plain old housewife."_

 _Lee swallowed hard at her words. That had been his worst fear ever since he'd learned of Joe's return. He shook his head. "No, that can't be. She told me-"_

 _"Told you what, Scarecrow?" Billy probed._

 _"Nothing. It doesn't matter." He rose from his seat, a look of steely resolve on his face. "I'm going to rectify this right now! She is NOT quitting, not after she's worked so hard! I won't let her."_

 _"What do you plan to do, hog-tie her and drag her back in here kicking and screaming?" Francine questioned._

 _"If I have to, but whatever the real reason behind this is, I'm damn sure going to find out and put a stop to it."_

 _"But what if you can't, Lee?" Billy asked. "You'll still need backup and Francine-"_

 _"Fine!" Lee agreed tersely. "Set it up with Francine for now..." He started to leave the room, but then turned back, "But not as a couple...some other cover...brother and sister maybe like we did in Japan." He could only imagine what Amanda's reaction to him playing house with Francine might be if he wasn't able to talk her back in. Even if he could get her back, if she really was back with her ex, a different kind of cover would make things less awkward between them._

 _"But what if you can't get Amanda back?" Billy inquired._

 _"That's NOT an option, Billy!" He had to get her back. Not only could he not let her leave the Agency, he couldn't let her leave HIM._

 _"Lee, she seemed pretty determined to leave. Even if you can get her back, are you sure that's the kind of cover you want to go in with when you two already have established covers as a couple?"_

 _Lee nodded. "Absolutely! It makes it less awkward." Especially if she is leaving you for her ex, he thought dismally. He shook off that disheartening thought and made up his mind he wasn't going to let that happen. He'd fight for her if he had to, even if it meant fighting the father of her children._

 _"Why should it be awkward?" Francine interjected. "You've played couple covers with her at least a dozen times in the past couple of years."_

 _Lee gulped nervously as he thought of how to answer her question. "I-" He sighed. He wasn't about to let either of them know that he was worried Amanda was giving him the brush-off because they'd slept together. "Well, you know how Amanda is," he quickly covered. "She doesn't mind doing the couple-y stuff to get people to talk to us, but she's weird about sharing a room."_

 _Billy again nodded, but gave Lee a sideways look as if wondering if there were more to Lee's reluctance. "Are you sure that's all it is?"_

 _"Sure," Lee shrugged. "But if I'm going to have a chance in hell of getting her back, I should go." He hurriedly escaped the confines of his boss office, which had begun to feel increasingly smaller while he was getting probing looks from both of his friends._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _Lee spent the entire drive from the Agency to Amanda's house running the words of her letter over and over again through his mind, contemplating its vagueness. What the hell kind of family issue did she have going on that was so extreme that she'd quit her job over it?_

 _He turned over the possibilities in his mind and he couldn't help thinking that maybe Francine was right and she'd reconciled with Joe. After all, ever since they'd spent the night together in the swamp, things had been a bit awkward, like the moment they'd been listening in on her mother's conversation with Billy and he'd tried to flirt with her a bit with his "special daughter" comment and had leaned in for a kiss only to have her turn her head so that his kiss landed on her cheek instead. Then there had been an incident even before that when they'd been following Dotty around and she'd made her "someone at work" comment and Amanda had reacted badly to it._

 _He shuddered as he thought back to the night he'd followed Amanda to Dooley's and walked into find her so cuddly with Joe while they were dancing. He could have sworn at the time that when he'd seen her smile, that it was directed at him, but maybe she hadn't even noticed his presence and that glowing, happy smile had been for Joe instead. Had he let his heart get so overtaken by his feelings for her that he'd seen something that just wasn't there?_

 _As he pulled up to the curb in front of her house, his heart sank further when he saw Joe's car parked in the driveway behind her station wagon looking a little too much like it belonged there. He turned the car off and thought about his options. His head was screaming at him to turn around and go home, suddenly rethinking his earlier notion of fighting her ex for her. If she were truly happy with Joe, he should disappear and just let her be happy, plus it would be better for her kids to have their parents together. On the other hand, his heart was screaming at him to do something now before it was too late to beg, plead and grovel if necessary to win her back. Though, he couldn't imagine what he'd need to grovel for since he couldn't think of a thing he'd done wrong. Since the night in the swamp, he'd tried to do everything he could to show her how he felt about her._

 _A horrible thought struck him then. Did she regret that night? He knew how important a real relationship was to her and things had happened between them in the heat of the moment. It was such un-Amanda-like behavior born of fear. Was that why things had stalled between them? Was that why it seemed she was doing everything she could to let her ex back in while simultaneously shutting_ _ **him**_ _out?_

 _"Get your ass out of the car and find out," he barked at himself, finally having had enough of self-doubt and questions. He'd come here determined to get answers and that was what he was going to do.  
_


	12. Playing with the Big Boys

Amanda greeted her family with a cheery, "Good morning!" as she entered the kitchen.

"Humph," Phillip snorted.

"What's the matter, Sweetheart?" she questioned as a frown crossed her face wondering if he'd already figured out that Lee had spent the night. She had been hoping to ease the boys into the news gently, but now she worried that it may not be an option.

"It's just so stupid that we have to go to school for just this one day and then have the whole rest of the week off," he grumbled.

Jamie rolled his eyes and retorted, "You're the one that's stupid. That's why you don't like to go to school."

"Okay, Fellas. knock it off. You only have one more day until you're on vacation. Can't you just be nice to each other? You know, have a little Christmas spirit?"

"Yeah, right," Phillip muttered and then added, "Because you've had so much Christmas spirit the last couple of days while your boyfriend's been gone."

Amanda smiled that her older son had just given her the perfect opening to break the news to them. She slipped into one of the vacant seats at the kitchen table. "I do know I've been a little sad and gloomy because he was away for work without me."

"Just like you used to be when Dad was gone all the time," Phillip inserted testily.

"I know and I'm sorry if I haven't had the best attitude, but when someone you love goes away, well...it makes you a little sad...just like you guys get sad when your dad's gone, but I promise I won't be sad like that anymore because..." She began fiddling nervously with her brand-new diamond ring as she went on, "...B-because Lee's back home. In fact, he's here...in our home."

"He's here? Now?" Jamie questioned.

"Yes, upstairs. He got home late last night and didn't even go to his own home. He came straight here from his trip because he wanted me to know how much he missed us. Not only that, but he wants to be here with us...permanently." She proudly showed off her engagement ring. "He asked me to marry him."

"We already know that, Mom," Phillip scoffed.

She shot an accusing look at her mother, who responded, "Don't look at me. I didn't say a word."

"No, Mom," Jamie agreed with his grandmother. "You did, remember? The day you told us you were gonna' have a baby. I asked you if he was going to marry you and you said he asked, but you said 'no.'" He paused, made a sour face and demanded, "Now, all of a sudden, you changed your mind and said 'yes.' How come?"

"It's like we were just talking about," she explained. "Being apart made us both realize just how much we missed each other and how much we mean to one another."

"So, how come you didn't feel that way about Dad? You coulda' stayed together instead of finding some new guy," Jamie argued. "Then you wouldn't be having a baby."

 _This is going to be harder than I thought,_ she thought dismally. "Jamie..." she began gently. "I thought you were happy about being a big brother."

"But why couldn't you get married to Dad again when he's home now too? I mean, when you told him about the baby, he said he was happy for you, so why-"

"Oh, grow up," Phillip snapped at his brother. cutting him off. "Mom and Dad don't love each other anymore. Why can't you see that? Besides, he was never there for us, so why would you think he'd be there for this new kid, especially when it's not even his?"

"That's not true!" Jamie argued hotly as he rose from his seat and glared at his brother. "Mom said she'd always love Dad." He turned to his mother with a pleading look on his face. "Didn't you?"

Amanda sighed and reached for her younger son's hands, holding them both in her own. "Okay, yes, I did say that and it's true."

"See?" Jamie said in a gloating tone as he stuck his tongue out at his brother.

"BUT," Amanda added in a firmer tone. "It's not the same thing. You see, there are different kinds of love. Yes, I still love your dad and I always will, but it's no longer the romantic kind of love that marriage is built on. I love him like you love an old friend, but Lee...I'm _in love_ with him and the kind of love I have for him _is_ the kind of love you can build a future on."

"But I don't understand," Jamie replied in confusion. "Isn't the whole reason you got divorced because Dad was gone all the time? He's home now and said he's staying home."

"I know it seems like that's all it was from your perspective because that's mostly what your dad and I fought about, but it's not the whole reason. Most of it was because we just didn't agree on what we wanted for our life together."

"But you and Lee don't either," Jamie pointed out. "I mean, he just took this trip without you, so wouldn't it be just like the problems you had with Dad all over again?"

"No, Sweetheart, because I was supposed to go on this trip with him and I was too sick to go. Besides that, he told me last night that he doesn't want to go on anymore trips like that if he can help it. You know that I've never said anything bad about your dad and his job, but the fact is where our real problem was is that he wanted to travel for his job more than he wanted to be home with his family and I couldn't live like that. You can't make a marriage work if you're hardly ever together. Lee...well, he's just the opposite. He wants his family more than he wants the excitement of travelling for work...and that family includes you and your brother, not just me and the baby."

"Plus, she's in love with him, Stupid," Phillip jeered. "She's not in love with Dad anymore. Besides that, what you're talking about is just dumb. Do you really think Dad would want to raise somebody else's kid?"

"Well, isn't that what Mom just said Lee wants with us? How is it any different?"

"It's different because I'm not going anywhere. I promise you I'll be here for you," Lee interjected as he entered the room. With a pointed look at Jamie, he added, " _All_ of you." When Amanda looked at him in surprise, he explained, "I got tired of hiding upstairs. I figured it was best to just grab the bull by the horns." He then turned his attention to Jamie and continued, "Listen, Jamie, I know you don't know me every well yet and I'm guessing you probably don't like me much, but that's okay with me. I'm still not going anywhere and whatever I have to do to prove that to you, I'll do. I've never been one to back down from a challenge and growing up with no family to speak of, I'm not about to give up on the one I have now."

"We're _not_ your family," Jamie spat.

"Maybe not legally...not yet anyway, but now that I finally got your mom to agree to marry me, I plan to change that as soon as possible. It's like I was telling her last night, I want the whole package and that includes you and your brother. I would very much like to have your blessing to marry your mom, but I understand why you don't want to give it. You see, when I was a kid and my uncle came to get me, I had the worst time accepting him as my guardian because I missed my mom and dad so much. All I wanted was for my life to be normal again, but eventually I had to accept that things were never going to be like they were again."

"But that's different. Your mom and dad were dead. My Dad's still alive _and_ he's home again."

"But it's not that different. Your life still changed forever when your folks split up and you had to adapt to that change and you're going to have to adapt to this one too." He looked Jamie straight in the eye and stated firmly, "Let me make one thing clear to you. While I would like your blessing, I'm still going to marry her with or without it."

"So, you just don't care what I think," Jamie huffed and crossed his arms sullenly.

"I do care what you think, but what you're missing is that it's not up to you...or even to me, really. All I did was ask and your mom could've kept saying no, but she didn't. As for your dad, the way I see it, she had already made up her mind about him long before I ever met her when she decided to divorce him. Now, she's made up her mind about me by saying 'yes' and that makes me happier than anything ever has in my life because I love her. What I want you to understand is that a part of loving her is loving you too because you're a part of her. I know that you're a smart kid, Jamie because you mom talks about you all the time, so I know you're smart enough to understand that your parents didn't split up just because your dad was gone."

"It's true," Amanda chimed in. "It's just like what we were talking about before Lee came down here. There were a lot of things that led to our divorce; things we never told you about because it's really between your dad and me."

"Yeah, I get it," Jamie finally relented and then turned his attention back to Lee, "But I have just one question for you."

"Ask me anything you want," Lee replied encouragingly.

"If you love Mom so much, why'd you wait until you got her pregnant to ask her to marry you? Couldn't you make up _your_ mind about her?"

"I-I-" Lee blew out a long breath as he struggled for how to answer the boy's question. At a loss for words, he jibed, "That's _two_ questions."

"But they go together," Jamie argued.

"Yes, they do," Lee acknowledged. "And they're both very good questions. I think the best answer that I can give you is that I had made up my mind about her quite a long time ago, but I was scared that she didn't feel the same way about me."

"Well, that's stupid," Jamie told him bluntly. "Mom's not the kind of girl who...um...fools around with just anybody." He turned red at even saying the words, but plunged on anyway, "She wouldna' done...you know... _that_ with you if she didn't love you."

"I know that now," Lee readily agreed. "But as I said, I was scared and sometimes when a person is scared they don't always think rationally, especially when your heart is involved. So, you're absolutely right. I was stupid. But just because I didn't ask her to marry me until I knew we were having a baby, that doesn't mean that I wasn't sincere. What I'm trying to say is that if you're worried that I only asked her because of the baby, you can stop worrying. I want to marry her because I really love her and want to spend my life with her...and with you."

"Well...it will be kinda' cool to be a big brother."

"That's what _you_ think," Phillip snorted.

"I take it you don't think it's so cool." Lee looked at him in alarm. He finally felt like he was getting through to Jamie, but now, Phillip seemed like he was balking.

"It's okay, I guess, but what's going to happen after Mom has the baby? Me and Jamie are already sharing a room as it is."

"We were talking about that last night," Amanda piped up. "And the only real solution is for us to start looking for a bigger house. Now, I know we're proposing a lot of changes all at once, but I think in the long run, it's really what's best for our family...for all of us. I know the two of you are tired of sharing your room, so we...Lee and I, that is...we were talking about trying to find a house not only big enough for the new baby, but for you fellas to each have your own space."

"That sounds cool," Jamie replied at the same time Phillip chimed in, "That would be awesome!"

"Wait a minute. You actually agree on something? Are you sure you're feeling okay?" she teased.

"Ha ha," Phillip rolled his eyes.

"Listen, we can talk about this some more another time and we'll have plenty of time to do that once your break starts, but you guys need to finish getting ready for school."

Both boys grumbled, but obeyed and once they were out of earshot, Dotty commented, "Well, that went better than I expected."

"Me too." Lee breathed a sigh of relief. "But we still have one more hurdle to overcome..."

"Work," he and Amanda completed together as they shared an apprehensive look, wondering just what would happen there. 


	13. Engaged and Confused

Lee let out a slight groan as he helped Amanda load things into the back of the station wagon. "I don't know why you go to all this trouble for people at the office," he commented with a slight nod to the tall stack of holiday cookie trays in his hands as they walked from the house to the open liftgate of the station wagon. "When did you even have time to bake all these?"

"Well, I can get a lot done when I don't have you around distracting me," she teased.

"But I thought you were sick," he argued. "Wasn't that the whole reason I was stuck with Francine all weekend?"

"Oh, I _was_ sick, but I started feeling better the night you called me and said you were coming home. By the morning I was feeling so much better that I even worked a few hours to catch up on some of the stuff I'd gotten behind on and-"

"And poke your nose into my friendship with Francine," he inserted.

"That too," she nodded, "But since I only worked a few hours and I really was feeling better and everyone around the office was talking about today's party, it hit me that I hadn't done the baking I usually do for the office Christmas party and since people will be expecting me to bring in cookies like I've done the past two years, I realized I needed to get busy so I spent the whole rest of the day baking because I didn't want to disappoint anyone."

"Amanda, no one is going to be disappointed if you don't bring in cookies," he replied as he set the stack down and gestured to a different pile that had already made it to the car. "And that pile of pies in addition to the cookies? What's that about?"

"Oh, that wasn't me. That was Mother," Amanda explained as she bent to neatly arrange the pile of gifts she'd bought for their co-workers, taking great care to position them in such a way that they wouldn't slide around and be damaged during the drive to the Agency. "She did those on Saturday when I was camped out on the sofa to rest...you know, in case I didn't feel up to doing my usual stuff. Pecan pie is her specialty at Christmastime."

Lee shook his head in wonderment. "So, your mother made pies for our office party? Why?"

Having completed her task, Amanda cocked her head to the side and gave him a puzzled look. "Are you really complaining about my mother trying to help out? I mean, she is going to be your mother-in-law and I have a feeling with everything we've got coming down the line, we're going to need all the help we can get from her." She lightly patted her belly as she spoke.

"No, Amanda, it's not a complaint, I promise. I just don't get why she'd care about having baked goods for you to take to a party that she's not even invited to."

"Well, just because you may not care about people that you may not be directly involved with doesn't mean others don't, especially around the holidays. I mean, it's why people volunteer more at this time of year than any other; at soup kitchens and helping with things like Toys for Tots drives or you know, Salvation Army Santas on every street corner."

"I completely understand wanting to help the less fortunate, especially around Christmas, but that's not really what this is."

"Well, then look at it this way; it's not really any different than Jeanie making her fruitcakes for the office party every year, is it? She makes those for Billy to take to the party because she cares about him, even if she can't go to the party for security reasons."

"Okay, okay. Point taken," Lee conceded. He knew when he was defeated, but still he had questions regarding her exuberance for the holiday that he had never found much joy in. He gestured to the stack of brightly-wrapped gifts she'd just put in the car. "I get the baked goods, but do you really think anyone is going to notice if you didn't get them a Christmas present?"

"Lee, I know these things don't mean much to you, but they do mean something to the people we do them for."

"Speaking of which, we need to swing by my place to pick up my gifts," he reminded her.

"You mean your 'one-size-fits-all' scarf you always get for everyone?" She made a sour face. "I think they'll notice my gifts more than yours."

"What's wrong with a scarf? It's something everyone can use."

"It's just so impersonal," Amanda huffed impatiently as she slammed the liftgate closed. She was growing weary of his determination not to enjoy the festivities before they were even there. "It's especially so when you get them for everyone on your list. While it might be something everyone can use, it might not be something everyone wants and it shows that you didn't really put any thought into tailoring a gift just to what the specific person might actually like. I believe in special gifts for special people. Like this ring..." she fiddled with the ring she now wore. "You could have gone out and bought me some flashy expensive ring that I would have hated just because it might make an impression, but this..." She smiled at it as the diamond sparkled in the morning sunlight. "This is special because it belonged to your mother. That shows that you put your heart into it."

"Well, no one else is getting a ring from me. That's for damn sure," he retorted dryly.

Amanda rolled her eyes. "It's not about the ring and you know it. It's about the thought behind it. You knew that _this_ particular ring would mean something to me because it means something to you and that makes it the most special gift in the world."

"Okay, but still, with the gang at the office, I really don't think anyone's going to really care what gift either of us got them, especially not once we make our announcement. They'll be way too focused on that."

She frowned as his words registered in her mind, wondering how that was going to go. She could just hear the office grapevine now. "You're probably not wrong about that."

He took her hands in his and in a soothing tone, said, "Hey, it doesn't matter what they think, okay? What really matters is us and our family. If the busybodies at work can't handle it, screw them." He softly brushed his lips against hers and smiled affectionately. "Right?"

She smiled back. "You're right, but I guess we won't know how they'll react until we get there."

"Yeah, we'd better get going," he agreed with a nod.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When they finally arrived at the IFF building, Lee shook his head and sighed, "We're going to need a forklift to get all this stuff inside."

"Oh, we are not," she scoffed as she reached into the backseat to pick up a large canvas tote bag and scrambled out of the car. By the time Lee got out of the car himself, she was already piling her gifts into the bag.

"Uh...Amanda, why didn't you just use the bag to transport the gifts in the first place?"

"Because I didn't want to take a change that it would tip over on the drive," she answered. "Some of these things are fragile and I didn't want to risk anything getting broken." She finished loading up the bag and continued, "Now, your gifts are already in bags, so I can carry all the gifts if you get the other stuff." She nodded to the baked goods. "You can just stack the pies on top of the cookies and carry them all at once. Problem solved."

"But won't that smash the cookies?" he questioned uncertainly.

"Not for the short amount of time you'll be carrying them. Trust me. I've done this more times than I can count for school bake sales and such."

"Okay-ay," he replied disbelievingly as he followed her instructions.

Once he had the desserts in hand, Amanda set down the bags to close the back of the wagon and then in a determined stance, picked them back up again, "See? Now, we're all set."

"If you say so," he responded doubtfully. While she may have been right about the best way to carry everything inside, he wasn't at all sure he was set on everything else though, especially once they dropped their bomb.

Sensing his thoughts, she planted a firm kiss on his lips. "Hey, it's going to be fine. Like you said, if they can't handle it..."

"Screw 'em," he nodded. "You're right. Let's do this."

"You got it."

They strolled up the walk together, but then paused when they got to the door, trying to figure out the best way to open it with both their hands full. Amanda was just about to set the bags of gifts down again, when the door was opened from the other side by Francine, who held the door open for them as she said, "I saw you on the monitor and you looked like you could use a hand."

"Thanks," Amanda responded politely. "So, how come you're up here and not downstairs at the party?"

"Beaman again?" Lee chimed in with a grin. When Francine nodded, he asked, "What is it this time? Swiss Alps again?"

Francine shook her head. "Worse. So far, he's already tried to give me his car - as if I would ever drive a Buick," she snorted. "And he's insisted that I run off to Greece with him to raise goats."

Amanda frowned and shot Lee a worried look. "I guess that means someone's already spiked the punch?" How was she going to keep the gossip at bay if her co-workers noticed she wasn't drinking? She knew they'd eventually figure out that she was pregnant, but she wasn't quite ready to announce that part of the equation yet.

"Ohhh, right," the blonde acknowledged. "You can't drink."

"Ix-nay, Francine," Lee hissed with a nod to Mrs. Marston who was watching the scene with a look of amusement on her face.

"I only meant because of the meds you've been taking since you got sick," Francine quickly covered her faux pas. "But you can relax. Leatherneck knew it would inevitably happen, so he made sure there was a backup bowl of punch for those who don't want to get blitzed."

"Oh, good." Amanda breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'll tell you what. I'll steer you in the right direction if you help me keep Efraim at bay," she offered.

"I don't know, Francine," Lee teased. "He's been pretty sweet on you for awhile. Maybe you should take a shot at goat herding with him. Amanda, Sound of Music is your favorite movie, right? Didn't it work out for the lonely goatherd in that?"

Amanda rolled her eyes, but couldn't help laughing. "Yes, but that was just in the puppet show."

"Well, as big as Beaman's crush on Francine is, he'd be a good puppet for her. Isn't that how you like your men? Kept on a string and willing to move whatever way you direct them?"

"Okay, you can stop anytime now," the younger agent scolded. "Especially if you want my help. Besides..." She nodded to his armload of baked goods. "I notice someone else's strings being pulled right now."

"Speaking of which, Francine," Amanda chimed in to change the subject. "Do you mind grabbing one of those cookie trays to leave here on Mrs. Marston's desk for people coming in while I dig out her Christmas presents since Lee has his hands full?"

Without waiting for an answer, Amanda set down the bags and extracted the matron's gifts, the one she'd bought her from one bag and Lee's traditional scarf from another.

"Thank you, Mrs. King," Mrs. Marston replied as she took the packages from her. "On that note, you just missed Dr. Smyth making his annual rounds with his gift certificates." She produced two envelopes and handed them to Amanda along with her and Lee's IDs. "Since Mr. Stetson does have his hands full, I'll trust you'll pass his along." She gave a slight nod to the ring Amanda now wore.

"Talk about impersonal gifts," Lee muttered to his fiancée with a twinge of merriment in his eyes.

"Okay, come on," Amanda said determinedly as she picked up the bags once more. "Let's get down there." She smiled cordially at the Agency's resident guard dog. "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Marston."

"Merry Christmas to you too, Mrs. King," the older woman replied. "And congratulations," she added as the other three stepped into the elevator and disappeared.

"What did she mean by 'congratulations'?" Lee questioned worriedly as the elevator made its descent.

"Don't you ever notice anything?" Amanda looked at him incredulously. "She spotted my ring when I gave her her presents."

"Oh, so you actually did it!" Francine squealed. "Let me see it!" she added excitedly as she reached for Amanda's left hand causing her to drop the bag that held the scarves from Lee.

"You've already seen it, Francine," Lee huffed.

"Wait." Amanda shot a surprised look at Francine. "What? You saw it before I did?"

"But it's different seeing it in the box versus actually seeing her wearing it," Francine explained. "And yes, Amanda, I've already seen it. After you left Lee and me alone yesterday, we really talked." She smiled and released Amanda's hand. "It's beautiful. Congratulations to both of you."

Lee noticed the sincerity in her tone and questioned skeptically, "You really mean that?"

"I really do. I'm glad to see it. After we talked yesterday, I thought for sure you'd chicken out."

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence," he snarked.

"If you can't be honest with your friends..." Francine began, but then trailed off.

"Wait," Amanda repeated. "You thought he'd chicken out?"

"Oh, I-" She blew out a long breath. "Well, not on the proposing thing," she amended. "When I talked to him, he said you'd already discusses getting married and you'd turned him down and then I basically told him he was an idiot for not telling you how he really feels about you first. _That_ part is what I thought he'd chicken out on and I also figured that if he did, you still would have turned him down. I know I would have."

"Oh, I see," Amanda nodded, but was still somewhat skeptical.

"Really, Amanda, I'm happy for you both, I swear. I only meant I know what a jerk this guy can be when he gets into his retreat mode."

Amanda burst out laughing at that, her mind reflecting back on the conversation she and Lee had had regarding his behavior after their night in the swamp. "Boy, do I know that feeling. Thank you for being supportive, Francine."

"Yeah. I'm just worried about how the rest of the office is going to react," Lee uttered nervously. "And for that matter, how we're going to tell them in the first place."

"Oh, I don't think you'll have to worry about that," Francine informed him. "Didn't you see Mrs. Marston reaching for the phone as the elevator doors were closing?"

"Oh no," he groaned.

"We-ell, maybe it's better this way," Amanda pointed out in a more positive tone as she picked up the bag she'd dropped. "Now, we don't have to worry about what we're going to say to people."

"No, just what they might say to us," Lee countered dismally.

"We're about to find out just what that is." Amanda nodded to the doors opening before them.

When Lee hesitated on getting out, she and Francine together nudged him forward. They made their way toward the bullpen, Francine opening the doors for them as she more-cheerily-than-normal sang, "Hey, everyone! Santa Amanda is here! And she brought her amazing Christmas cookies!"

A discordant chorus of "Congratulations!" and "Merry Christmas" greeted them as they fully entered the glass enclosure.

"Merry Christmas, everyone!" Amanda replied and immediately began handing out gifts while Lee took the desserts to the food table and then quickly rejoined his fiancée.

Billy joined the trio and smirked. "It's about damn time! Congratulations to you both."

"Thank you, Sir," Amanda responded at the same time, Lee said, "Thanks, Billy," finally relaxing for the first time since they'd left the house.

"I'd better get back to manning the food table," the older man told them with a nod to people already attacking Amanda's homemade desserts.

"I'll join you," Francine interjected. "I'm just dying for some of Amanda's cookies before they're all gone."

Once the bags of gifts were emptied, Lee slipped his arms around Amanda from behind just as a smattering of 'thank yous' were being uttered as the gifts were opened, some perfunctory in the case of Lee's scarves and others genuine in Amanda's more thoughtful gifts. Amanda rested her arms atop his and gloated a bit, "See? Special gifts for special people."

He shook his head. "Doesn't matter. You gave me the best Christmas gift I've ever gotten in my life," he crooned in her ear as he lightly stroked her stomach.

"You're wrong. That's a gift we gave each other."

"You're right, but the point remains the same. It's been a long time since I've been able to enjoy Christmas like this and it's all because of you and our swamp thing."

"Which swamp thing would that be; what happened between us in the swamp or is that what we're still calling the baby?"

"Both," he answered with a warm smile. "Because we wouldn't have one without the other."

Just as Amanda was about to reply, Francine returned with two glasses of punch. "The Shirley Temple version, as promised," she informed them.

While reluctant to let go of each other, the pair took the offered glasses as Francine hurried back to the food to guard her post. With an impish grin, Lee said, "I'd say this calls for a toast. To swamp things."

Amanda laughed and replied, "To swamp things, it is. And a Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," he responded as they sipped their drinks. They shared a sweet, lingering kiss, neither caring any longer that they were being scrutinized by their coworkers and oblivious to the whoops around them.

"And to many more...together," Amanda added when the kiss ended as she linked her free hand with his. "Now, come on, let's go really join the party and celebrate."


End file.
